Today would have been Cathy's 55th Birthday. When I wrote the last post I was having a 'down' day. I honestly feel like the days leading up to today were much harder than today actually was. I have been thinking about today all month & I let it bring me down. Remembering all of the Birthday celebrations we had with her. Cathy Loved Birthdays! She would cook a Birthday Supper at her house and then follow it with Cake & Neopolitan Ice Cream.
The kids & I sent prayers up for Grandma last night. They both said "Have a Happy Birthday Grandma" & we talked about how she is dancing up in Heaven to some good ol Rock N Roll music.
Brad is working near his parents place again... and he is hoping to have a nice supper with his Dad tonight remembering his Mom.
Happy Birthday Cathy, you will Always be in our Hearts!
Friday, April 17, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
Struggling...
To be honest... I truly felt like throughout Cathy's illness we were preparing ourselves for the inevitable. That we were able to grieve 'ahead of time' knowing what was ahead for her & us. But I was so wrong, at least for me. I have my good days & bad days. And lately, with her Birthday coming up on the 17th I seem to be struggling. The reality of it all is finally hitting me... all of the emotions of the past few years coming to a halt with a sad ending. I became so much closer to her while helping care for her, that it made it even harder to let go in the end.
It is hard to let go... hard to move on without the guilt of moving on without her.
It is hard to let go... hard to move on without the guilt of moving on without her.
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