Well... Unfortunately it seems that we have entered the anger stage. I had sincerely hoped that we had either gone through it this past summer (when she was yelling at her dog... which is something she never would have done & she was less patient with the kids) or we had skipped it all together. But I think I was wrong... actually I still am hoping I was right & that this is just a quick phase or reaction to the busy week last week... time will tell.
These past few days she has spent most of the day pacing the house. From her chair to the window over & over again. She points & shakes her finger saying, "Actually, on fire!" in an angry voice with an angry look on her face. She will pick something up and slam it down saying, "Actually, on fire!"
Brad talked to her last night & she said, "nursing home"... the only thing I can think of is that we talked about it last week at the Dr. appointment. He brought it up in front of her. Brad tried to explain again the situation we are in & how we are trying our best to prevent that for as long as we can. She seemed to settle down after that. But then again today it flared up when our dog threw up in the kitchen...
Cathy gets very frustrated with our dog, Lizzie... she is constantly putting her outside & pointing at her saying, "Actually, on fire!" Yes... Lizzie is still a puppy & she is 90% house trained... she still has lots & lots & lots & lots & lots (I stress lots!) of accidents when she is either nervous, excited, or scared. This makes Cathy very angry... it might be because she has watched me get angry with her over the past few months. I don't ever remember Cathy not liking a dog. In fact, we used to joke that if her grandkids & her granddog were drowning... she may rescue the granddog first (I know it sounds terrible... but she truly is a dog lover!) .... But Lizzie... she does not like. She has never been a huge fan of small dogs, when they had Tiffany (a Shih tzu) she would call her Gayle's Princess. She is more of a lab lover than anything. And unfortunately for Lizzie she is not a lab, she is a Jack Russell. Lizzie will try to sneak into Cathy's room at night & will always get thrown out. At times though she gets lucky & Cathy will let her sit on her lap for a bit... but it usually doesn't last long. I have talked to Brad about finding Lizzie a new home. In fact I called one of the no-kill animal shelters locally and talked to them about our situation this summer when we discussed having Cathy here permanently. Having Cathy & Lizzie living here would not be good for either of them... the guy at the shelter said, "would you get rid of your child?" Of course my answer was , "NO!" So I hung up feeling helpless. (I guess I am not cut out to be a dog lover... that is why I am a nurse & not a vet tech) We have discussed trying to find her a new home, but it will be hard since she is not 100% house trained and everyone we talk to says that may just be the way she will always be... we have tried it all, read every book, & looked online. No luck.
Tonight I thought I would try to cheer Cathy up by taking her to a movie. She Loves movies & 'Enchanted' was playing in Ames. So Cathy, the kiddos, my Mom, my Grandma, & I headed to Ames tonight to see the movie. She Loved the Movie (it was quite cute) & sat very well through the whole thing. However... she coughed through the whole movie. I noticed the people around us kept looking our way. I am guessing they thought she was sick & they were worried they might also get sick. But in fact... she was choking on popcorn because she was eating to fast & then eating more while she choked... I took it away & got her a drink... & then she kept coughing, almost as if it was a nervous habit. I whispered in her ear a few times to cover her mouth & she would stop for a bit & then start again. Uffda. Now that I think about it she has been coughing at home alot... but a public place isn't good, especially when people are thinking about the Flu... urgh again. Maybe we will have to sit in the back of the theatre next time... or we will just stick to rental movies.
When we got home she was irritable... but just like tired kids, evenings are worse than mornings.
This is one of my big worries... I want the kids to remember Grandma being Happy, not angry... Are we making the right decision having Cathy live with us???
Chase can usually make her laugh... he has made it almost a sport. He will say, "Mom, I made Grandma laugh!" or "Mom, Grandma came over and gave me a hug or a kiss!" Tonight after that happened she came out of her room in her pajamas that say, 'my dog walks all over me'. Chase loves to say, "Grandma, does your dog walk all over you?" when she wears that shirt & that always makes her laugh.
I am working tomorrow & Ryan was planning on coming up but he had something come up with his dog business & the weather isn't looking good in Iowa this weekend... so Ryan may be coming for a while depending on the weather. Luckily Brad is home tomorrow since the railroad is moving slow & if he goes to work my Mom is home & she will help out. But I feel bad asking for her help again. We have made so many changes & given up alot to help... & we don't regret it... but we cannot expect everyone else to do the same.
I love this Albert Einstein quote, "Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile."
If things improve & Cathy stays with us... which I hope they will... I don't think I can continue to volunteer to help at work, it is too stressful trying to figure out who can stay with Cathy. We have looked into adult daycare, but Cathy at this point is unhappy if she is not in a place she is familiar with & the Dr. wasn't sure that was a good idea for a temporary situation. In home care is better & doesn't upset her... but the cost of it is too much.
THANKS again to Rhonda for coming over last night to sit with Cathy. She sat with her while we took our family pictures at Church.
So.... I am probably going to fall asleep praying again tonight.... "Please help this pass quickly..."
HOPE
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
Thanksgiving
I am finally recovering from a long week... I took a 2 hour nap tonight after working this morning from 9-1 for my friend Anju. I didn't realize how tired I was... you would think that a nice relaxing week in Wisconsin would rejuvenate you. But... with Cathy's illness, 8 kids, 5 dogs, & everyone being crammed into the same house... it was a bit chaotic at times. A Big Thanks to Brad for watching the kiddos & his Mom tonight, he made supper & did dishes!!!
The next few entries are a summary of what has happened since Thanksgiving day... I was too tired at night to get to the blog or I was visiting with family. Hope you all had a Wonderful Thanksgiving!
~~~~~
When I got up Thanksgiving morning I was greeted by Gretchen making breakfast in the kitchen & pointing at a casserole dish of frozen green beans. Yes, Cathy was getting ready for Thanksgiving dinner already, and we weren't having it until 5 pm! Gretchen said she had tried to talk Cathy into stopping but couldn't. I said, "lets just let her make it... & we will fix it later, she wants to help out." So at 8 she put in the frozen green beans & it sat on the counter uncovered until 10 when she added the cream of mushroom soup which sat on the counter until noon when Cathy went to bed. While she was resting Gretchen helped me dump it & remake it... we cooked it while she was sleeping & hopefully she didn't notice it was now made of french style green beans & not frozen cut green beans... uffda
Yes... Cathy slept from noon until around 4. She has only done this a few times & it always seems to be after change occurs in her life. I checked on her a few times and she was cuddled up to her pillow.
More family arrived today... Toby & family arrived at 4 am & Nicole came at about 5 pm. And unfortunately Brad had gone back to work on Tuesday morning & he didn't make it back up til Saturday night... by the time he got back all the leftovers & Bonnie's cookies were gone... poor Brad... he ate Thanksgiving dinner alone at Happy Chef in Iowa. :( Rhonda & Larry stopped by that morning to say Bye... they had decided to head home early. (below is a pic of Cathy & Rhonda I snapped Thanksgiving morning) Thanks to Rhonda for all her help & keeping Cathy laughing all week!!! We missed you after you left!! And Mia missed her buddy Larry!
After Cathy got up she wanted to help so we asked if she would set the table. She set for 6 in the dining room & 4 out in the garage... (Gayle had brought in the patio table & chairs to his heated garage for the week. Plus the kiddos rode their trikes & scooters in there all week... it was a nice place for them to work off energy!) Never mind that we had 15 adults & 8 kids to feed... but she was trying to help out. When Nicole arrived she greeted her with a big hug! It is a blessing that she still knows who we are!!!!
That night Cathy snuck out of the bedroom & was mad at Gayle again. Every night she will peek her head out of the door and look at us, usually smile, sometimes wave at us, & then go back to bed. But that night she also pointed at Gayle & said, "You... (& she mumbled something we couldn't understand)!" while shaking her hand at him. We all looked shocked & looked around at each other... What?????? She had done the same thing the night before & Rhonda and I couldn't figure it out then either. She also did it Friday night when Jean & Dave (a family friend) were over after supper. 3 nights in a row... but not on Saturday night. I went into her room each night & tried to ask what was wrong. No luck... I guessed and she would say nope & just point towards the living room and say Gayle... each time I would say, "I am not a very good investigator am I?" And she would smile and reach over and cup my cheek in her hand & pat at it.... (in which I almost cried each time...) But I never got my answer... I guess I wouldn't make a very good private eye... Agatha Christie & I share the same birthday... I had always loved her books... but I guess I am not cut out at that mystery stuff.
So all & all Thanksgiving was a good, crazy, & mysterious day. Tracy, Gretchen, & I attempted to cook Thanksgiving dinner while 8 kids played around us, the 3 youngest crying... & the men were all out hunting... Thank goodness for Barb bringing up half the meal, Bonnie bringing her goodies, & Ari bringing up snacks as well! I guess it gives us a HUGE appreciation for all that Cathy has done over the years!!!! You don't realize what you have until it is either gone or slipping away from you.
~~~~~
Friday Cathy wanted to hunt... that morning she sat in the Garage with the guys while they cut up the 3 deer they had already gotten. She sat in her orange hunting jacket. After they left she wandered around all day in it & at times had on her orange stocking cap and you could only see her eyes peeking out. I caught her a few times trying to get into the gun cabinet. She said, "I can't get my rifle out." I told her I didn't have the key & besides that she couldn't hunt... she didn't have a license this year. And she just sighed each time, dropped her shoulders, & walked away. Cathy grew up in those Wisconsin woods... they hunted to eat... they didn't have much but they had the land. She loved too hunt.
Gayle took her out to the stand by the house that evening. She was so excited to go. They didn't see anything but he said she surprisingly sat very patiently still. I am so glad that he gave her that chance to sit with him, even if she couldn't handle the gun, she could sit in anticipation of seeing a deer with him. I know that made her feel good.
Tracy learned not to leave your cell phone laying around... Cathy likes to help out by plugging your phone into the charger. She grabbed Tracy's phone & plugged it in her bathroom... she must have thought it was Gayle's... it took us a while to find it. I know that if I can't find mine to check out chargers... she has usually plugged it in for me.
~~~~~
Saturday Cathy went to Baraboo with Toby & Tracy. They took their 2 oldest & Chase with them to Build-a-Bear and I got to stay home and have some Auntie time with the 2 youngest & Mia. Cathy really had a good day! Honestly I was worried about how it would go for them... you never know how she will do... I am so Thankful that she had a good day. Tracy said she was so excited to build her own bear, she picked out a soft fuzzy bear with patches on it. They put the 2 oldest kids voices in it saying, "We Love you Grandma!" and Toby said, "I Love you Mom!" Cathy squeezes the hand & you can see her face light up! It was the Perfect Gift for her!!! Patches is sitting on her dresser here in Iowa.
Oh yeah... did I mention that Cathy needed a new suitcase because her zipper was broken. And Rhonda went with her to get one. Well... one morning Cathy burnt her old one... despite us telling her not too. There it was, standing up in the burn barrel smoking away... She still LOVES to burn trash! Twice I left notes for her on the trash can, "Cathy, DO NOT BURN, cans inside." She burnt them anyways.
~~~~~
So much more happened over the week. I can't remember which night it was... but one night Cathy came out when it was just Gayle & I still sitting up watching the news. She pointed towards the bedroom and said, "Snake!" (If you know Gayle... you know the one thing he hates is snakes!) And normally in mid November I would go, "Yeah, right!" But... after the snake episode in Wisconsin this summer... I wasn't sure... it could be a snake! I was thinking, 'Why is Brad always gone when this happens!' (This summer a snake came home in our pool bag, just a small Gardener snake, but a snake! I set my bag by the kitchen stove turned around & there it was slithering across the stove top! I yelled for Gayle... he didn't come... chicken! Cathy came. & there we were chasing a snake with a steak knife... I know, I could have picked it up... but I wasn't going to touch it!!! And Cathy normally would have just picked it up and carried it out... but not anymore... she was just as scared of the poor little guy as I was! Needless to say, the poor thing was beheaded by us & thrown outside!) So... I hesitantly walked into the bedroom with her & peeked around the bed... there by the window was a long... black... skinny... curled at one end... plant leaf. But for a moment, my mind thought it could have been a snake. Cathy was sure it was until I picked it up & she laughed! She took it out to Gayle laughing. I am just Thankful that it wasn't another snake!
If you haven't noticed I am always guessing how she feels. The best way to know how she feels is to watch her actions. She may not always answer the way she wants to... that is one thing the Dr. had told us early on. She may say no and mean yes. But she always does what she wants. On Sunday the kiddos & I headed home after lunch. Brad was staying until Monday morning. We asked her what she wanted to do... go home with us or wait til tomorrow with Brad. She couldn't seem to give us the same answer, once it was with me, once it was with Brad. But... she had already put her suitcase in my van early that morning.... and after we asked her what she wanted to do she brought it in. There was our answer... she wanted to stay.
That afternoon Gayle, Gary, & Jr. took her with them to sit in the deer stands while Brad drove the deer. She got to go hunting again. :)
We also discussed Christmas again. Saturday morning Toby, Ryan, & I (since Brad wasn't up there & he had told me what he wanted) talked about it. It was hard to decide since we all have different feelings about what we should do... the last thing we want is to fight about it... after all the most important thing is that we are all together. I can't speak for Toby & Ryan, but for Brad & I we want to give her the gift of having Christmas in Wisconsin again. She used to speak out about having Christmas up there again. They moved to Iowa when Brad was in 7th Grade and she missed Wisconsin SO MUCH. She finally got to move back up there 4 years ago but we always have Christmas in Iowa... since all 3 of us girls have our families here. To us it is almost like "Make a Wish" foundation... giving her something material now seems irrelevant, but giving her something she always wanted after all she has given up for her family seemed so important to us. Yes... it is going to make it logistically hard for all of us... Brad with work, us girls with our families, & more traveling for everyone. But it is just one year. After this we can go back to our same old routines. Sometimes I think she is past the point of understanding we are having it up there for her, but other days I think she completely understands it all. Gayle said she has asked to have it up there over the years & he feels that it was important to her, but he wasn't going to make the decision, he wanted to leave it up to the boys to make the right call, he knew it would be a hard call. So... we are having it in Wisconsin. Hopefully everyone will be there... hopefully we will all still enjoy being together & Cathy will enjoy one last Christmas at home in her beloved Wisconsin.
The next few entries are a summary of what has happened since Thanksgiving day... I was too tired at night to get to the blog or I was visiting with family. Hope you all had a Wonderful Thanksgiving!
~~~~~
When I got up Thanksgiving morning I was greeted by Gretchen making breakfast in the kitchen & pointing at a casserole dish of frozen green beans. Yes, Cathy was getting ready for Thanksgiving dinner already, and we weren't having it until 5 pm! Gretchen said she had tried to talk Cathy into stopping but couldn't. I said, "lets just let her make it... & we will fix it later, she wants to help out." So at 8 she put in the frozen green beans & it sat on the counter uncovered until 10 when she added the cream of mushroom soup which sat on the counter until noon when Cathy went to bed. While she was resting Gretchen helped me dump it & remake it... we cooked it while she was sleeping & hopefully she didn't notice it was now made of french style green beans & not frozen cut green beans... uffda
Yes... Cathy slept from noon until around 4. She has only done this a few times & it always seems to be after change occurs in her life. I checked on her a few times and she was cuddled up to her pillow.
More family arrived today... Toby & family arrived at 4 am & Nicole came at about 5 pm. And unfortunately Brad had gone back to work on Tuesday morning & he didn't make it back up til Saturday night... by the time he got back all the leftovers & Bonnie's cookies were gone... poor Brad... he ate Thanksgiving dinner alone at Happy Chef in Iowa. :( Rhonda & Larry stopped by that morning to say Bye... they had decided to head home early. (below is a pic of Cathy & Rhonda I snapped Thanksgiving morning) Thanks to Rhonda for all her help & keeping Cathy laughing all week!!! We missed you after you left!! And Mia missed her buddy Larry!
After Cathy got up she wanted to help so we asked if she would set the table. She set for 6 in the dining room & 4 out in the garage... (Gayle had brought in the patio table & chairs to his heated garage for the week. Plus the kiddos rode their trikes & scooters in there all week... it was a nice place for them to work off energy!) Never mind that we had 15 adults & 8 kids to feed... but she was trying to help out. When Nicole arrived she greeted her with a big hug! It is a blessing that she still knows who we are!!!!
That night Cathy snuck out of the bedroom & was mad at Gayle again. Every night she will peek her head out of the door and look at us, usually smile, sometimes wave at us, & then go back to bed. But that night she also pointed at Gayle & said, "You... (& she mumbled something we couldn't understand)!" while shaking her hand at him. We all looked shocked & looked around at each other... What?????? She had done the same thing the night before & Rhonda and I couldn't figure it out then either. She also did it Friday night when Jean & Dave (a family friend) were over after supper. 3 nights in a row... but not on Saturday night. I went into her room each night & tried to ask what was wrong. No luck... I guessed and she would say nope & just point towards the living room and say Gayle... each time I would say, "I am not a very good investigator am I?" And she would smile and reach over and cup my cheek in her hand & pat at it.... (in which I almost cried each time...) But I never got my answer... I guess I wouldn't make a very good private eye... Agatha Christie & I share the same birthday... I had always loved her books... but I guess I am not cut out at that mystery stuff.
So all & all Thanksgiving was a good, crazy, & mysterious day. Tracy, Gretchen, & I attempted to cook Thanksgiving dinner while 8 kids played around us, the 3 youngest crying... & the men were all out hunting... Thank goodness for Barb bringing up half the meal, Bonnie bringing her goodies, & Ari bringing up snacks as well! I guess it gives us a HUGE appreciation for all that Cathy has done over the years!!!! You don't realize what you have until it is either gone or slipping away from you.
~~~~~
Friday Cathy wanted to hunt... that morning she sat in the Garage with the guys while they cut up the 3 deer they had already gotten. She sat in her orange hunting jacket. After they left she wandered around all day in it & at times had on her orange stocking cap and you could only see her eyes peeking out. I caught her a few times trying to get into the gun cabinet. She said, "I can't get my rifle out." I told her I didn't have the key & besides that she couldn't hunt... she didn't have a license this year. And she just sighed each time, dropped her shoulders, & walked away. Cathy grew up in those Wisconsin woods... they hunted to eat... they didn't have much but they had the land. She loved too hunt.
Gayle took her out to the stand by the house that evening. She was so excited to go. They didn't see anything but he said she surprisingly sat very patiently still. I am so glad that he gave her that chance to sit with him, even if she couldn't handle the gun, she could sit in anticipation of seeing a deer with him. I know that made her feel good.
Tracy learned not to leave your cell phone laying around... Cathy likes to help out by plugging your phone into the charger. She grabbed Tracy's phone & plugged it in her bathroom... she must have thought it was Gayle's... it took us a while to find it. I know that if I can't find mine to check out chargers... she has usually plugged it in for me.
~~~~~
Saturday Cathy went to Baraboo with Toby & Tracy. They took their 2 oldest & Chase with them to Build-a-Bear and I got to stay home and have some Auntie time with the 2 youngest & Mia. Cathy really had a good day! Honestly I was worried about how it would go for them... you never know how she will do... I am so Thankful that she had a good day. Tracy said she was so excited to build her own bear, she picked out a soft fuzzy bear with patches on it. They put the 2 oldest kids voices in it saying, "We Love you Grandma!" and Toby said, "I Love you Mom!" Cathy squeezes the hand & you can see her face light up! It was the Perfect Gift for her!!! Patches is sitting on her dresser here in Iowa.
Oh yeah... did I mention that Cathy needed a new suitcase because her zipper was broken. And Rhonda went with her to get one. Well... one morning Cathy burnt her old one... despite us telling her not too. There it was, standing up in the burn barrel smoking away... She still LOVES to burn trash! Twice I left notes for her on the trash can, "Cathy, DO NOT BURN, cans inside." She burnt them anyways.
~~~~~
So much more happened over the week. I can't remember which night it was... but one night Cathy came out when it was just Gayle & I still sitting up watching the news. She pointed towards the bedroom and said, "Snake!" (If you know Gayle... you know the one thing he hates is snakes!) And normally in mid November I would go, "Yeah, right!" But... after the snake episode in Wisconsin this summer... I wasn't sure... it could be a snake! I was thinking, 'Why is Brad always gone when this happens!' (This summer a snake came home in our pool bag, just a small Gardener snake, but a snake! I set my bag by the kitchen stove turned around & there it was slithering across the stove top! I yelled for Gayle... he didn't come... chicken! Cathy came. & there we were chasing a snake with a steak knife... I know, I could have picked it up... but I wasn't going to touch it!!! And Cathy normally would have just picked it up and carried it out... but not anymore... she was just as scared of the poor little guy as I was! Needless to say, the poor thing was beheaded by us & thrown outside!) So... I hesitantly walked into the bedroom with her & peeked around the bed... there by the window was a long... black... skinny... curled at one end... plant leaf. But for a moment, my mind thought it could have been a snake. Cathy was sure it was until I picked it up & she laughed! She took it out to Gayle laughing. I am just Thankful that it wasn't another snake!
If you haven't noticed I am always guessing how she feels. The best way to know how she feels is to watch her actions. She may not always answer the way she wants to... that is one thing the Dr. had told us early on. She may say no and mean yes. But she always does what she wants. On Sunday the kiddos & I headed home after lunch. Brad was staying until Monday morning. We asked her what she wanted to do... go home with us or wait til tomorrow with Brad. She couldn't seem to give us the same answer, once it was with me, once it was with Brad. But... she had already put her suitcase in my van early that morning.... and after we asked her what she wanted to do she brought it in. There was our answer... she wanted to stay.
That afternoon Gayle, Gary, & Jr. took her with them to sit in the deer stands while Brad drove the deer. She got to go hunting again. :)
We also discussed Christmas again. Saturday morning Toby, Ryan, & I (since Brad wasn't up there & he had told me what he wanted) talked about it. It was hard to decide since we all have different feelings about what we should do... the last thing we want is to fight about it... after all the most important thing is that we are all together. I can't speak for Toby & Ryan, but for Brad & I we want to give her the gift of having Christmas in Wisconsin again. She used to speak out about having Christmas up there again. They moved to Iowa when Brad was in 7th Grade and she missed Wisconsin SO MUCH. She finally got to move back up there 4 years ago but we always have Christmas in Iowa... since all 3 of us girls have our families here. To us it is almost like "Make a Wish" foundation... giving her something material now seems irrelevant, but giving her something she always wanted after all she has given up for her family seemed so important to us. Yes... it is going to make it logistically hard for all of us... Brad with work, us girls with our families, & more traveling for everyone. But it is just one year. After this we can go back to our same old routines. Sometimes I think she is past the point of understanding we are having it up there for her, but other days I think she completely understands it all. Gayle said she has asked to have it up there over the years & he feels that it was important to her, but he wasn't going to make the decision, he wanted to leave it up to the boys to make the right call, he knew it would be a hard call. So... we are having it in Wisconsin. Hopefully everyone will be there... hopefully we will all still enjoy being together & Cathy will enjoy one last Christmas at home in her beloved Wisconsin.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Testing again
Well... it was another restless night. Last night I was woke up by Cathy opening our bedroom door to let our dog out. I thought... it can't be morning yet!??! (she does this every morning when she gets up) I looked at my watch & it was 1:30 am!! I got up & she was dressed, the coffee pot was brewing, & she was get ready for breakfast. I stopped her in the hallway & tried to talk to her... she just gave me this blank look and kept walking, her eyes seemed to be glazed over (it is a look that is more & more frequent when she is tired). I caught up with her in the kitchen and talked to her a bit... I finally got her to head back to bed.
When I got up this morning at 7 she was packing her suitcase & needed help with it... the new zipper had her confused, but we got it figured out. I explained we weren't going back to our house today. However we were going to LaCrosse. Her eyes got big & she knew exactly what that meant... another visit to the Dr. She walked out of the bedroom shaking her head.
Jean stopped by at 8 this morning to take her out for coffee. They were out for about an hour & she said Cathy communicated fairly well with her. She did clearly say something like, "life sucks..." She was distressed about going to see the Dr. again and repeating the testing. Jean stayed and went through some of the old pictures with us. We found a picture of Gayle, Toby, Brad, & Scott with their fishing catch... Scott is Jean's son that the boys grew up with. They have alot of fun memories with him! I also got a good picture of Jean & Cathy together today.
When I got up this morning at 7 she was packing her suitcase & needed help with it... the new zipper had her confused, but we got it figured out. I explained we weren't going back to our house today. However we were going to LaCrosse. Her eyes got big & she knew exactly what that meant... another visit to the Dr. She walked out of the bedroom shaking her head.
Jean stopped by at 8 this morning to take her out for coffee. They were out for about an hour & she said Cathy communicated fairly well with her. She did clearly say something like, "life sucks..." She was distressed about going to see the Dr. again and repeating the testing. Jean stayed and went through some of the old pictures with us. We found a picture of Gayle, Toby, Brad, & Scott with their fishing catch... Scott is Jean's son that the boys grew up with. They have alot of fun memories with him! I also got a good picture of Jean & Cathy together today.
We headed to LaCrosse at noon for her appointment. Rhonda came up to stay with our kids and Ryan & his family followed us to the appointment. I am so glad Ryan was able to come. Cathy was also very happy Ryan was coming. On the way there she said, "I can't believe... Gayle... not...", I reached over and put my hand on her arm and said, "are you sad that Gayle isn't coming?" and she said, "nope". I asked her if it was okay that he stayed home to go hunting and she said, "yep". She seemed more relaxed walking into the clinic today... Ryan walked with her and hugged her to his side... she smiled & laughed. We met with a different social worker today, Terri, she was very helpful & seemed to care about what we were saying. She offered some advice to us that was helpful. While we were with her Cathy repeated the testing... Hooray! She did it!!! (last time she refused) Then we went to her room and waited for Dr. Loepfe. As Ryan & I walked into the room she said, "alligator." (One of the testing questions is naming animals... today she could only name 4, repeating 2 of them & last year in November she named 13.)
Ryan sat next to her & she put her head on his shoulder for a second & smiled. (It almost made me cry.) I sat where I have the past 2 times & Gayle's seat was empty. I think it was good in someways he didn't come... it allowed her to be independent & not worry as much about answering correctly... she always seemed to look at him for help & today she had to try and answer on her own.
Dr. Loepfe came in & greeted us. He reviewed the testing & notes from the Social Worker. He said he was 'shocked' at how fast she is progressing. His concern worried me mostly because he also said that since it is progressing so rapidly it is more likely to be genetically linked.... genetic... my big fear!!! He did say that genetics is obviously not his area & that we will get more answers when we go to Mayo in Rochester next month. We talked again about how she is doing: eating (better, she had lost another 5 pounds), sleeping (not so good), getting into trouble, depressed (she said no), etc... He feels that she is doing as well as can be expected & that we should continue taking it one day at a time. No meds at this time other than maybe something to help her sleep. (We have an rx for Trazodone that I will try when we get home next week.) Ryan was able to ask him questions that he was worried about. Again Dr. Loepfe said a patient with Alzheimer usually has 15-20 years (and that is usually not diagnosed as quickly) and a patient with Pick's has usually 7-10 years from onset of symptoms... and unfortunately Cathy is progressing quickly. He mentioned that we should also start thinking about Hospice care.... Hospice... so we are ready when we get to that point, since things may continue as rapidly as they have... or... things also could slow down, everyone is different. Unfortunately the stages are hard to pinpoint, some people skip some & go through them differently, & everyone progresses differently... basically nothing is black and white. There is no book to read or path to follow. We are out on our own... but it does give us comfort to at least talk to him. He at least can comfort our fears and concerns. But he can't give us the concrete answers. I feel like I can see it in his face, that he wishes he had the answers, that it frustrates him to not be able to tell us exactly what is going to happen, he is compassionate & I am Thankful for that. It would be a hard job...
He also looked at me & mentioned that I looked better today, that he was worried about me last time... and worried how we were doing taking care of her. I feel it inside also... I don't think I am letting it weigh me down as much. I think that it helps that I am not working & that I am in a routine at home now. It also helps to have this blog... a place to put my thoughts & feelings... like giving it to God & letting him hold it for me. (Tracy is always telling me to do that with my worries... & she is absolutely right! My brother brought home this little wooden box for me when he went to Mexico... I have written down my worries & placed them inside it... Giving them to God is what is getting me through.)
"Be Still & know that he is God." Psalm 46:10
So, we go back to see Dr. Loepfe in 3 months. And we go to Rochester in a month. And in the meantime... we continue to do our best & enjoy the time we have.
Everytime I walk out of our bedroom I see this... I gave this to Cathy a few years ago... & she hung it outside the room we stay in up here... I look at it and think about how she used to be, how this was/is her house, she decorated it and made it hers, this is where she is supposed to be, & how you just never know what life holds for you...
When we got home tonight Cathy seemed fine. We headed down to Hoyer's for a KFC supper... Yummy. And then came back up to hang out with the Hansen's & Gary. Gayle was sitting on the couch & Cathy walked into the kitchen... when she walked back out she walked over to him pointing & said, "You...??????" She couldn't get out what she wanted to say... but she had an angry look & was MAD! I can't ever remember seeing her that mad! We all looked at her in astonishment & Gayle looked confused... Rhonda & I tried unsuccessfully a few different times to figure out what was wrong. We asked her if she was mad he didn't go today... "nope", was she mad he didn't come down to eat with us... "nope", could she write it down... "nope", and a few other things... "nope". She pointed at him like that at least 3 different times tonight. ???? She sat next to him while we watched "Chuck & Larry" (HILARIOUS!) but you could see it in her body language she was upset... hopefully by morning things will be better. Hmmm....
Toby & Tracy left North Dakota at 9 tonight. Nicole flew out of Salt Lake City into Chicago this morning (2 1/2 hour delay) & is driving up in the morning from Janesville. Hopefully Brad will catch a train out of Clinton tonight (or maybe deadhead... be bused or vanned back home) & make it up here by tomorrow night. And we can all be together for Thanksgiving.
The scary thing about Thanksgiving... is that Cathy is not able to help... she is here/but not here. That means that us girls have to take over for her... luckily Barb & Rhonda can help us through. The kitchen is not my favorite room of the house... I am usually in charge of the green bean casserole or jello salad... something I can not screw up. But turkey... urgh...
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
"Today was a Good Day"
We were sitting on one of the couches tonight in the Deer Shed & Cathy just blurted it out... "Today was a Good Day." That pretty much sums it up.
Luckily Cathy handled the no water situation pretty well... no toilet water coffee as far as I know. The kids were pretty restless this morning & just about the time that she was getting frustrated with them Rhonda showed up to take her out to Lunch. She didn't argue one bit & off to McDonalds they went for a Double Cheeseburger... her favorite. Rhonda also took her to Wal Mart per Gayle's request & got her a new suitcase. Then they headed to Deer Creek and she got Cathy a new Cardinal decoration for Christmas, Cathy LOVES cardinals! ( I forgot to add that this morning Brad caught her out by the burn barrel with her suitcase... she was planning on burning it since the zipper was broke.)
Brad had to head home this morning and work... hopefully he will catch a train tonight & be able to head back up for Thanksgiving or at least to see Toby & family for the weekend. We were all sitting around this morning & Cathy looked straight at me & pointed and said, "Get a job!" ??? I just laughed & said, "You think I need to get a job??!!" She burst out laughing & shook her head yes. I said, "Are you tired of hanging out with me?" And she said, "Yep." Brad thought it was funny.
Tomorrow is her follow up Dr. appointment with Dr. Loepfe in LaCrosse. Rhonda is going to stay with the kiddos for me so I can take her to her appointment. Hopefully she will let them repeat the testing again... I have tried not to talk to her about this appointment, hoping that if she isn't thinking about it she won't worry about it as much.
Earlier today the kiddos & I went down to Hoyers & made puppy chow... yummy! Cathy stayed at the house with Gretchen & her kids. When I got back Gretchen said, "she had a naked spell..." Oops... I had forgot to tell her about when Cathy does laundry... sometimes it just strikes her that she needs to wash her clothes... she strips down to her underclothes & heads to the laundry room. She did that today & it shocked Gretchen a bit! I read somewhere that they tend to get attached to things, even wearing the same thing until it has holes in it. Right now Cathy is attached to a red sweater that Aunt Charlene gave her & a Fleece top with a picture of a deer on it. She also insists on wearing the same 2 pairs of jeans... that are too small for her... but she refuses to wear the bigger size (Rhonda & I bought her some a few months ago & she got really angry with us... I am thinking about getting a pair again & just cutting the tags out & telling her they are the same size). I guess us girls are all the same... never happy with the size we wear!!
We went down to Barb & Gary's for the annual Prime Rib night tonight... Barb cooks Chris's recipe from the Cottage... it's top secret, I guess KFC & the Cottage can work together on this one (Barb & Gary own the KFC up here)... too bad Chris can't be up here to enjoy it with us!! Cathy did pretty well at their house tonight. She helped set the table but only set for 5 people when over 20 people were coming. After supper she headed down to the Deer Shed. She sat between me & John. John has been a family friend of Cathy's since he was a little guy. Cathy's family land up here has a gravel pit on it & John and his Dad worked the gravel pit, there is more history to all of that, but basically we will just sum it up by saying they are good family friends. John can always make her smile. And it was sitting by him tonight that she said, "Today was a Good Day."
Luckily Cathy handled the no water situation pretty well... no toilet water coffee as far as I know. The kids were pretty restless this morning & just about the time that she was getting frustrated with them Rhonda showed up to take her out to Lunch. She didn't argue one bit & off to McDonalds they went for a Double Cheeseburger... her favorite. Rhonda also took her to Wal Mart per Gayle's request & got her a new suitcase. Then they headed to Deer Creek and she got Cathy a new Cardinal decoration for Christmas, Cathy LOVES cardinals! ( I forgot to add that this morning Brad caught her out by the burn barrel with her suitcase... she was planning on burning it since the zipper was broke.)
Brad had to head home this morning and work... hopefully he will catch a train tonight & be able to head back up for Thanksgiving or at least to see Toby & family for the weekend. We were all sitting around this morning & Cathy looked straight at me & pointed and said, "Get a job!" ??? I just laughed & said, "You think I need to get a job??!!" She burst out laughing & shook her head yes. I said, "Are you tired of hanging out with me?" And she said, "Yep." Brad thought it was funny.
Tomorrow is her follow up Dr. appointment with Dr. Loepfe in LaCrosse. Rhonda is going to stay with the kiddos for me so I can take her to her appointment. Hopefully she will let them repeat the testing again... I have tried not to talk to her about this appointment, hoping that if she isn't thinking about it she won't worry about it as much.
Earlier today the kiddos & I went down to Hoyers & made puppy chow... yummy! Cathy stayed at the house with Gretchen & her kids. When I got back Gretchen said, "she had a naked spell..." Oops... I had forgot to tell her about when Cathy does laundry... sometimes it just strikes her that she needs to wash her clothes... she strips down to her underclothes & heads to the laundry room. She did that today & it shocked Gretchen a bit! I read somewhere that they tend to get attached to things, even wearing the same thing until it has holes in it. Right now Cathy is attached to a red sweater that Aunt Charlene gave her & a Fleece top with a picture of a deer on it. She also insists on wearing the same 2 pairs of jeans... that are too small for her... but she refuses to wear the bigger size (Rhonda & I bought her some a few months ago & she got really angry with us... I am thinking about getting a pair again & just cutting the tags out & telling her they are the same size). I guess us girls are all the same... never happy with the size we wear!!
We went down to Barb & Gary's for the annual Prime Rib night tonight... Barb cooks Chris's recipe from the Cottage... it's top secret, I guess KFC & the Cottage can work together on this one (Barb & Gary own the KFC up here)... too bad Chris can't be up here to enjoy it with us!! Cathy did pretty well at their house tonight. She helped set the table but only set for 5 people when over 20 people were coming. After supper she headed down to the Deer Shed. She sat between me & John. John has been a family friend of Cathy's since he was a little guy. Cathy's family land up here has a gravel pit on it & John and his Dad worked the gravel pit, there is more history to all of that, but basically we will just sum it up by saying they are good family friends. John can always make her smile. And it was sitting by him tonight that she said, "Today was a Good Day."
Monday, November 19, 2007
Better Day
Today was a better day, she seemed to be more comfortable here today. She wasn't as restless and she was able to relax a bit. Gretchen & I sorted through old family photos. It was alot of fun! We found pictures from when the boys were little, pictures of Cathy's parents, & pics of Cathy and Gayle as kids. We also found Ryan's baby book & Cathy and Gayle's Wedding album. It was like being on a treasure hunt! They had lost a lot of pictures in the fire... they had a fire when Toby & Brad were little, before Ryan was born, and lost almost everything. We have a quilt at home that was made by the local church and given to the family after the fire. Cathy has a few quilts here also. (It is comforting to know that people reached out to them then & Brad loves the quilt because it reminds him of that.)
Cathy kept coming in & out of the bedroom while we sorted and made piles. She would pick up a few pictures and look at them... & then set them down in the wrong pile... it made it a bit difficult... it was hard to not get frustrated with her. When Gretchen & I weren't sure of who was in the picture we would ask Cathy, most of the time she knew who it was, but she seemed better at the older photos. Later on today we were sitting at the dining room table doing crafts with the kids & I looked up and saw that Cathy had put her parents photo up. She had put both copies (8x10's) up on top of the china hutch. It almost brought tears to our eyes... Brad asked her about who that was (he knew, but he wanted to hear her say it) & she proudly said, "My Dad & Mom."
When the guys came in for supper after hunting they sat around & looked through the photos. Gary & the Hansen's were also up here for supper tonight. They enjoyed looking through them, laughing, & talking about old times. We can't wait until Toby & family and Nicole get here Wednesday to look through them as well!
Cathy came in to hand me the phone this afternoon... she was saying, "password?" I took the phone and it was a lady at the bank. She was confused & said Cathy couldn't remember her password and was having a hard time communicating with her. I quickly explained that Cathy had an illness very similar to Alzheimers... the lady said, "Oh... that explains alot!" I quess Cathy had been calling them extremely often over the past year or so asking for her checking account balance, but up until today she had always known her password. She did say that she hadn't called in the past few months... I explained she was living with us now.
Jean stopped by again this evening. She had coffee with Cathy & visited for a while. I think Cathy enjoys having someone stop just to see her. It makes her feel special.
I better get off to bed... tomorrow may be an interesting morning! The kitchen faucet broke tonight... we ran the dishwasher but not all the dishes fit (9 adults & 4 kids for supper) & we can't fix the faucet until the hardware store opens in the morning. Cathy is going to be confused & frustrated. Gayle is afraid she will use toilet water to make his coffee in the morning. Ha ha... I doubt it... but one never knows anymore...
Cathy kept coming in & out of the bedroom while we sorted and made piles. She would pick up a few pictures and look at them... & then set them down in the wrong pile... it made it a bit difficult... it was hard to not get frustrated with her. When Gretchen & I weren't sure of who was in the picture we would ask Cathy, most of the time she knew who it was, but she seemed better at the older photos. Later on today we were sitting at the dining room table doing crafts with the kids & I looked up and saw that Cathy had put her parents photo up. She had put both copies (8x10's) up on top of the china hutch. It almost brought tears to our eyes... Brad asked her about who that was (he knew, but he wanted to hear her say it) & she proudly said, "My Dad & Mom."
When the guys came in for supper after hunting they sat around & looked through the photos. Gary & the Hansen's were also up here for supper tonight. They enjoyed looking through them, laughing, & talking about old times. We can't wait until Toby & family and Nicole get here Wednesday to look through them as well!
Cathy came in to hand me the phone this afternoon... she was saying, "password?" I took the phone and it was a lady at the bank. She was confused & said Cathy couldn't remember her password and was having a hard time communicating with her. I quickly explained that Cathy had an illness very similar to Alzheimers... the lady said, "Oh... that explains alot!" I quess Cathy had been calling them extremely often over the past year or so asking for her checking account balance, but up until today she had always known her password. She did say that she hadn't called in the past few months... I explained she was living with us now.
Jean stopped by again this evening. She had coffee with Cathy & visited for a while. I think Cathy enjoys having someone stop just to see her. It makes her feel special.
I better get off to bed... tomorrow may be an interesting morning! The kitchen faucet broke tonight... we ran the dishwasher but not all the dishes fit (9 adults & 4 kids for supper) & we can't fix the faucet until the hardware store opens in the morning. Cathy is going to be confused & frustrated. Gayle is afraid she will use toilet water to make his coffee in the morning. Ha ha... I doubt it... but one never knows anymore...
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Annual Deer Hunting/Thanksgiving Week... Day 1
Well... Cathy was very restless today, yet VERY tired. I don't think she slept well last night. Gayle said she was up & down alot and when Brad got up at 4 a.m. she was up.
She seemed agitated all day. She got mad at Mia this morning. I had told Mia she needed to get dressed & she ran and hid in the bathroom. Cathy beat me to her & was "gripping" her shoulders and pushing her out of the bathroom repeating, "get dressed, get dressed". I ran over & Mia's eyes were huge with a look of shock on her face. I told Cathy not to handle it like that & quickly took Mia from her. Mia & I went and spent some time talking in our room... yes, she was not listening to Mommy, but I also was worried about how she was feeling after Grandma got mad. I reminded her that Grandma gets upset easier & that she needs to listen to Mommy... I tried to smooth things over & nothing else happened between them today. She kept giving us all the 'look'. Not alot of laughing today. I think she also is upset that we are in her kitchen cooking & not her. I am sure she feels like we are taking over... even though we are trying to help.
Jean came over to visit & tried to get Cathy to go to a play with her. Cathy just crossed her arms and said, "No." She wasn't going anywhere today. I think she is just a bit overwhelmed & hopefully by tomorrow she will be settled back into the routine of things again. She was happy to see Jean... I forgot to tell Jean that one of Cathy's new sayings is, "Alive, in France." I think she picked it up because Jean just visited London & France. :)
Today Cathy also went back to her old habit of burning trash. The boys used to pick on her in Iowa because she was always burning trash. Living in the country she tried to separate everything. She had a burnable trash, non-burnable, compost, plastic, & glass. The only problem with burning trash up here this week is that most of the family staying here isn't used to not throwing cans away... & she is burning non-burnable items. Tonight I wrote a note & taped it to the top of the trashcan trying to remind her of this.
She also let the dogs out alot this morning... urgh! We had to Chase them back a few times & put them in the outside kennel hoping that she would forget about them... out of site... out of mind. It helped a little. Ryan also has 2 puppies up here with him, they are so adorable, they are some of his designer pups he has for sale & he wanted to keep an eye on them... but, I keep catching Cathy in the garage refilling their water, cleaning out the kennel, & I stopped her from trying to feed them Misty's adult dog food... uffda! (once again, she is trying to help) She also kept picking up after us all day, even if we were still using something we would find it put away... the picture below is of the kids craft table this afternoon... they were playing with foam & stickers... Cathy took the white foam sheets off the stack of colored sheets & put them in with the napkins... I quess I could see the confusion, but I had to take a picture of it. (also note the bottle of Ice fingernail polish)
She couldn't figure out her DVD player in the living room today! This surprised me... she has been addicted to it for the past year or so... and she couldn't get the movies to play. She would just sit and stare at the Main menu screen while pushing random buttons.
The old Cathy shined through a few times today. Once I set cottage cheese out on the counter for supper & she immediately opened the fridge & got out an onion, chopped it up, & mixed it together. (I know that sounds gross... but it is actually really good!) She changed a few diapers, gave a few hugs to her Grandkids, picked up Ryan's baby when he was crying and brought him to Gretchen or me, helped the kids get coats & shoes on, etc.. But she was mostly tired out. Even taking a nap before noon.
When Chase got to go sit with Grandpa while he was hunting Cathy just watched. I said I needed to find him orange and she seemed confused. Ryan found him an orange coat & Gayle found him a hat. She used to be right on top of that...
Chase snuck into the bedroom tonight to say good night to her... she had gone to bed earlier at around 7:30. He said he told her, "Grandma, don't let the bedbugs bite." and she laughed. That made him feel good. He has been worried about her & I know it is on his mind. On the drive up he said, "Mom, I don't think Grandma is going to still be here by the time I turn 8." Just out of the blue... I didn't know what to say, I just listened. I am trying to be open to him so he can talk about it. We talk about Heaven & that we all hope to go their someday, but that once you go you can't come back, only Jesus can. I am open to ideas on how to talk to kids about his... I ordered a few books on Amazon to read, hoping for some helpful hints.
We missed Church today at Little Norway. The kids want to go over tomorrow so I think we will take Cathy & pick up some flowers and head over to the church before the snow comes in. It is supposed to snow 6-10 inches Thanksgiving Eve!
She seemed agitated all day. She got mad at Mia this morning. I had told Mia she needed to get dressed & she ran and hid in the bathroom. Cathy beat me to her & was "gripping" her shoulders and pushing her out of the bathroom repeating, "get dressed, get dressed". I ran over & Mia's eyes were huge with a look of shock on her face. I told Cathy not to handle it like that & quickly took Mia from her. Mia & I went and spent some time talking in our room... yes, she was not listening to Mommy, but I also was worried about how she was feeling after Grandma got mad. I reminded her that Grandma gets upset easier & that she needs to listen to Mommy... I tried to smooth things over & nothing else happened between them today. She kept giving us all the 'look'. Not alot of laughing today. I think she also is upset that we are in her kitchen cooking & not her. I am sure she feels like we are taking over... even though we are trying to help.
Jean came over to visit & tried to get Cathy to go to a play with her. Cathy just crossed her arms and said, "No." She wasn't going anywhere today. I think she is just a bit overwhelmed & hopefully by tomorrow she will be settled back into the routine of things again. She was happy to see Jean... I forgot to tell Jean that one of Cathy's new sayings is, "Alive, in France." I think she picked it up because Jean just visited London & France. :)
Today Cathy also went back to her old habit of burning trash. The boys used to pick on her in Iowa because she was always burning trash. Living in the country she tried to separate everything. She had a burnable trash, non-burnable, compost, plastic, & glass. The only problem with burning trash up here this week is that most of the family staying here isn't used to not throwing cans away... & she is burning non-burnable items. Tonight I wrote a note & taped it to the top of the trashcan trying to remind her of this.
She also let the dogs out alot this morning... urgh! We had to Chase them back a few times & put them in the outside kennel hoping that she would forget about them... out of site... out of mind. It helped a little. Ryan also has 2 puppies up here with him, they are so adorable, they are some of his designer pups he has for sale & he wanted to keep an eye on them... but, I keep catching Cathy in the garage refilling their water, cleaning out the kennel, & I stopped her from trying to feed them Misty's adult dog food... uffda! (once again, she is trying to help) She also kept picking up after us all day, even if we were still using something we would find it put away... the picture below is of the kids craft table this afternoon... they were playing with foam & stickers... Cathy took the white foam sheets off the stack of colored sheets & put them in with the napkins... I quess I could see the confusion, but I had to take a picture of it. (also note the bottle of Ice fingernail polish)
She couldn't figure out her DVD player in the living room today! This surprised me... she has been addicted to it for the past year or so... and she couldn't get the movies to play. She would just sit and stare at the Main menu screen while pushing random buttons.
The old Cathy shined through a few times today. Once I set cottage cheese out on the counter for supper & she immediately opened the fridge & got out an onion, chopped it up, & mixed it together. (I know that sounds gross... but it is actually really good!) She changed a few diapers, gave a few hugs to her Grandkids, picked up Ryan's baby when he was crying and brought him to Gretchen or me, helped the kids get coats & shoes on, etc.. But she was mostly tired out. Even taking a nap before noon.
When Chase got to go sit with Grandpa while he was hunting Cathy just watched. I said I needed to find him orange and she seemed confused. Ryan found him an orange coat & Gayle found him a hat. She used to be right on top of that...
Chase snuck into the bedroom tonight to say good night to her... she had gone to bed earlier at around 7:30. He said he told her, "Grandma, don't let the bedbugs bite." and she laughed. That made him feel good. He has been worried about her & I know it is on his mind. On the drive up he said, "Mom, I don't think Grandma is going to still be here by the time I turn 8." Just out of the blue... I didn't know what to say, I just listened. I am trying to be open to him so he can talk about it. We talk about Heaven & that we all hope to go their someday, but that once you go you can't come back, only Jesus can. I am open to ideas on how to talk to kids about his... I ordered a few books on Amazon to read, hoping for some helpful hints.
We missed Church today at Little Norway. The kids want to go over tomorrow so I think we will take Cathy & pick up some flowers and head over to the church before the snow comes in. It is supposed to snow 6-10 inches Thanksgiving Eve!
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Over the river & through the woods...
Over the river & through the woods to Grandmother's house we go. The kids & I made it up here in 4.5 hours... it was the most relaxing drive I have had in the past few years! Chase counted 30 hunters in orange... he usually counts semis or buses. The reason we had a relaxing drive was... well most likely... due to the fact that Brad left an hour before us and Cathy & Lizzie (our jack russell) rode with him. Brad said their drive went fairly well, other than stopping more often than usual at rest stops for Cathy. When Brad drives he likes to go straight through... I prefer to stop & enjoy the scenery, get snacks, & stretch a bit.
Cathy had only been here an hour before we arrived & had already began "taking back" her house. She had changed photos, rearranged knick knacks, hung a new flag, spot cleaned the floors (with oven cleaner... however... not carpet cleaner...oops...), carried keys around the house (this has become a bad habit of hers... if someone leaves keys out she will pick them up and set them somewhere else... which sends us all on a wild goose chase when we need the keys), started a load of laundry, etc... She was very restless & seemed agitated. She kept letting the dogs out & they would run off... which isn't good on opening day of shotgun hunting season! So we put them in the outside kennel in hopes to prevent injury. She didn't smile or laugh like she has been. I suppose it was due to the stress of traveling, excitement of being home, frustration of having things changed again, & having company all at the same time.
Rhonda came up with supper (our annual pizza burger night!) for us girls & the kiddos... while the guys cooked venison down at the deer shack. (Ryan got a buck this morning) Barb & Soren came up while we were eating supper & the kids played for a few hours. As soon as Cathy had eaten she went to bed... it was about 6:30. I went in to check on her and she was all snuggled up in her bed in her PJ's watching a movie... so I let her be. Everyone had gone to bed but Brad & I when she came out of her room, she walked to the kitchen, came back in & rubbed my shoulders, smiled & laughed when Brad asked what she was doing... but no verbal answer, and then went back to bed. A little later after Brad had gone to bed I was picking things up around the house & she came out of her room around 10:30.. She was carrying a load of laundry & her smile was back. She messed around with the buttons on the washer for a while... she had forgotten again how to use it, finally got it started & smiled and went back to bed.
I could see the spark in her eye tonight. She is glad to be home... even if only for a little while.
Hopefully we will have a good week up here. It is great to be with family for the week... but every year we seem to have a bit of family drama, & with emotions running so High with Cathy being sick... I am hoping & praying for the best! The big dilemma right now is where to have Christmas... Cathy has always wanted Christmas in Wisconsin & they haven't had it here since they moved over 19 years ago to Iowa. Brad & I are willing to come up (my family is being very supportive & understanding) but the rest of the family is split about it... the last thing I want to see happen is for the boys to fight about it... there is so much emotion & everyone is dealing with things in their own way. The most important thing is for us to all be together.
So... I better get off to bed, I am sure Cathy will be up a few more times tonight & ready to make the boys breakfast in the morning... Did I mention that I am NOT a morning person?! You would think after coming up here for the past 15 years for this "Crazy Wisconsin Deer Mania" I would have gotten used to early mornings... but not so much!
GO PACK GO! Break in hunting tomorrow for the Packers game! :)
Cathy had only been here an hour before we arrived & had already began "taking back" her house. She had changed photos, rearranged knick knacks, hung a new flag, spot cleaned the floors (with oven cleaner... however... not carpet cleaner...oops...), carried keys around the house (this has become a bad habit of hers... if someone leaves keys out she will pick them up and set them somewhere else... which sends us all on a wild goose chase when we need the keys), started a load of laundry, etc... She was very restless & seemed agitated. She kept letting the dogs out & they would run off... which isn't good on opening day of shotgun hunting season! So we put them in the outside kennel in hopes to prevent injury. She didn't smile or laugh like she has been. I suppose it was due to the stress of traveling, excitement of being home, frustration of having things changed again, & having company all at the same time.
Rhonda came up with supper (our annual pizza burger night!) for us girls & the kiddos... while the guys cooked venison down at the deer shack. (Ryan got a buck this morning) Barb & Soren came up while we were eating supper & the kids played for a few hours. As soon as Cathy had eaten she went to bed... it was about 6:30. I went in to check on her and she was all snuggled up in her bed in her PJ's watching a movie... so I let her be. Everyone had gone to bed but Brad & I when she came out of her room, she walked to the kitchen, came back in & rubbed my shoulders, smiled & laughed when Brad asked what she was doing... but no verbal answer, and then went back to bed. A little later after Brad had gone to bed I was picking things up around the house & she came out of her room around 10:30.. She was carrying a load of laundry & her smile was back. She messed around with the buttons on the washer for a while... she had forgotten again how to use it, finally got it started & smiled and went back to bed.
I could see the spark in her eye tonight. She is glad to be home... even if only for a little while.
Hopefully we will have a good week up here. It is great to be with family for the week... but every year we seem to have a bit of family drama, & with emotions running so High with Cathy being sick... I am hoping & praying for the best! The big dilemma right now is where to have Christmas... Cathy has always wanted Christmas in Wisconsin & they haven't had it here since they moved over 19 years ago to Iowa. Brad & I are willing to come up (my family is being very supportive & understanding) but the rest of the family is split about it... the last thing I want to see happen is for the boys to fight about it... there is so much emotion & everyone is dealing with things in their own way. The most important thing is for us to all be together.
So... I better get off to bed, I am sure Cathy will be up a few more times tonight & ready to make the boys breakfast in the morning... Did I mention that I am NOT a morning person?! You would think after coming up here for the past 15 years for this "Crazy Wisconsin Deer Mania" I would have gotten used to early mornings... but not so much!
GO PACK GO! Break in hunting tomorrow for the Packers game! :)
Wisconsin... here we come again
Cathy has been counting down the days to head home. And tomorrow morning we finally hit the road! The Hansen's and Ryan & family headed up today. Cathy, the kiddos, & I head up in the morning. Brad is hoping to be up for a few days... but it depends on the rail, the railroad makes his decisions for him.
Working yesterday really threw her off again... she was in her pajamas by 4'oclock and I had to talk her into coming out to eat for supper. She dressed for supper, ate, & then headed straight back to bed. So this morning she was up early again. When I got up at 6:30 she had our van packed and had taken everything out of the back of my van and put it in the garage... uffda.
Last night I watched the movie, "Away from Her." It is about a woman who has Alzheimers and how she & her husband deal with it. It was very depressing & very long... but very touching. The situation has some similarities to ours... but many differences. Cathy still knows who we are & where we are. She just doesn't remember how to do things or who she really is.
For instance. Today she tried helping me all day around the house. She did laundry with me... I caught her putting wet jeans in Chase's shorts drawer & wet sweatshirts in our closet, I found 5 dryer sheets in the dryer with one load of clothes, she matched my basket of socks for me (this is my least favorite job... & I tend to put it off until I have to do it) but unfortunately none of her matches were matches... so then I had to unmatch all the socks & rematch them... including most of them that she tried putting away, Chase's socks in my drawer, Brad's socks in Chase's drawer, & my socks in Chase's drawer... Luckily since Mia has cute little girl socks & hers were in the right drawer & they all matched, it helps that they have colored stripes & polka dots. In the kitchen I found dirty silverware in the drawer, 4 coffee cups in the sink (she will fill her cup, take a sip, dump the rest, & then fill it again... doing this over and over all day), measuring cups in the bowl cupboard, & many other interesting things. It adds alot of work... but she is trying to help, I have to give her that.
Everywhere I go in the house she brings me my drink. I was doing laundry & she brought my glass downstairs, I was folding laundry & she brought it to the bedroom, I was starting a fire in the pellet burner & she brought it to me, etc...
I have noticed she likes to keep her hands busy. Last year I noticed she was rubbing her thumb on her fingers when she sat, this summer she started constantly using the remote (clicking, changing, clicking, on, off, menu, etc...) just to keep her hands busy, & in the van she is constantly opening & closing the glove box, playing with the radio & temp. control buttons, & thumbing through my junk between the seats... So I am looking for ideas on what to do to keep her hands busy... any ideas??? Brad thought of an etch a sketch. If I was crafty I would sew something with buttons, zippers, etc... to put by the chair & in the van. Maybe I will attempt this after Thanksgiving.
My family came out for supper tonight. My Aunt Connie & her family from KC, Grandma & her husband from Casey, & my parents. Cathy visited with my Aunt & Uncle and smiled and laughed with them. Later she brought out her pics of the boys I had hung on the wall in her room to show my Aunt. She was very proud of them! She was impatient about waiting for supper again so I pulled out leftovers from last night. Before I could get to them she started eating them, I asked if I could heat them up & she shook her head, I heated them up & she took them to her bedroom to eat... ate... & then went to bed at 6:30. I tried peeking in on her and she had the door locked... she peeked out at us a few times and smiled. While we were playing cards she came out & gave me her dirty chocolate milk glass & then went back to bed.
Well... I better get off to bed. I am sure she will be up early & ready to head North.
Working yesterday really threw her off again... she was in her pajamas by 4'oclock and I had to talk her into coming out to eat for supper. She dressed for supper, ate, & then headed straight back to bed. So this morning she was up early again. When I got up at 6:30 she had our van packed and had taken everything out of the back of my van and put it in the garage... uffda.
Last night I watched the movie, "Away from Her." It is about a woman who has Alzheimers and how she & her husband deal with it. It was very depressing & very long... but very touching. The situation has some similarities to ours... but many differences. Cathy still knows who we are & where we are. She just doesn't remember how to do things or who she really is.
For instance. Today she tried helping me all day around the house. She did laundry with me... I caught her putting wet jeans in Chase's shorts drawer & wet sweatshirts in our closet, I found 5 dryer sheets in the dryer with one load of clothes, she matched my basket of socks for me (this is my least favorite job... & I tend to put it off until I have to do it) but unfortunately none of her matches were matches... so then I had to unmatch all the socks & rematch them... including most of them that she tried putting away, Chase's socks in my drawer, Brad's socks in Chase's drawer, & my socks in Chase's drawer... Luckily since Mia has cute little girl socks & hers were in the right drawer & they all matched, it helps that they have colored stripes & polka dots. In the kitchen I found dirty silverware in the drawer, 4 coffee cups in the sink (she will fill her cup, take a sip, dump the rest, & then fill it again... doing this over and over all day), measuring cups in the bowl cupboard, & many other interesting things. It adds alot of work... but she is trying to help, I have to give her that.
Everywhere I go in the house she brings me my drink. I was doing laundry & she brought my glass downstairs, I was folding laundry & she brought it to the bedroom, I was starting a fire in the pellet burner & she brought it to me, etc...
I have noticed she likes to keep her hands busy. Last year I noticed she was rubbing her thumb on her fingers when she sat, this summer she started constantly using the remote (clicking, changing, clicking, on, off, menu, etc...) just to keep her hands busy, & in the van she is constantly opening & closing the glove box, playing with the radio & temp. control buttons, & thumbing through my junk between the seats... So I am looking for ideas on what to do to keep her hands busy... any ideas??? Brad thought of an etch a sketch. If I was crafty I would sew something with buttons, zippers, etc... to put by the chair & in the van. Maybe I will attempt this after Thanksgiving.
My family came out for supper tonight. My Aunt Connie & her family from KC, Grandma & her husband from Casey, & my parents. Cathy visited with my Aunt & Uncle and smiled and laughed with them. Later she brought out her pics of the boys I had hung on the wall in her room to show my Aunt. She was very proud of them! She was impatient about waiting for supper again so I pulled out leftovers from last night. Before I could get to them she started eating them, I asked if I could heat them up & she shook her head, I heated them up & she took them to her bedroom to eat... ate... & then went to bed at 6:30. I tried peeking in on her and she had the door locked... she peeked out at us a few times and smiled. While we were playing cards she came out & gave me her dirty chocolate milk glass & then went back to bed.
Well... I better get off to bed. I am sure she will be up early & ready to head North.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
"I got my Flu Shot!"
Well.. it was another one of those interesting days...
Today started out ok. I had my yearly px at the Dr. today and Cathy tagged along. She really likes Dr. Carlson in Story City & was happy to go with me. While we were there I asked about getting her Flu shot (I can get mine at work). As we sat down in the waiting room Cathy started to pull her sleeve up... she was anxious about getting the shot... I explained we needed to wait until we were in the exam room. Once we got back to the exam room she started to take her sweater off, she had her arm out & was about to pull her sweater off over her head before we even got the door shut... once again I stopped her and said we had to wait a bit. While we were waiting for Dr. Carlson, nurse Cindy came in and gave Cathy her Flu Shot! Thanks Cindy!!!
Brad took Cathy to Wal-Mart this afternoon... her favorite place to go. They picked up a bird feeder for her & more kleenex. She grabbed two bags of chocolate chips & said, "Cookies." (She used to make lots of cookies.) So when I got home with the kids after school Brad was baking away a storm in the kitchen! Just as he sealed the lid on the cookies he had just baked she grabbed the container & took it down to our entry to put with her stuff to take to Wisconsin. Brad said, "Mom, I didn't make those for you to take with you! They are for us to eat here!" She just laughed & brought them back up... I am sure we will end up taking most of them with us Saturday when we head up for Deer Season/Family Thanksgiving.
Supper time was a bit chaotic. I had the chicken baking in the oven & the kids coloring crafts at the table. Tracy called to chat & I went downstairs so I could talk to her about Cathy out of her earshot... I was only gone 2 minutes & by the time I got back up she had pulled the chicken out of the oven & set the HOT pan directly on the dining room table! She had dished up chicken for the kids... that wasn't cooked! And there was a trail of chicken grease across the floor from the stove to the table! ARGH! I called for backup, "Brad!" And quickly grabbed the kids chicken from them before they ate & tried to clean up the mess. I guess the phone is off limits to me at meal time from now on!
After supper the kiddos & I ran over to Hansen's to deliver Cub Scout Popcorn & visit a bit. When we came home & pulled in the driveway I noticed something sitting outside our garage... it was Cathy's suitcase, purse, & 2 bags of her movies... It is Freezing Cold & Extremely Windy tonight!! (Lovely Iowa wind... no trees to stop the bone chillin cold!) The kids helped me carry her stuff back inside. Brad said she had been doing that since we left. Carrying her stuff out to his truck, he carried it in again, she carried it out again... I guess she is ready to head home again... but this is the first time her things have ended up outside of the house! Usually it is just sitting in the entryway.
So... I am off to bed. I am working a few hours tomorrow morning at ISU. If Brad is home he will be here with her, if not my Mom is coming out to stay with her. Then I am going to Chase's Thanksgiving Lunch at School... yummy School Lunch.... (Jenny said they made 80 pumpkin pies today!)
She was excited to tell the kids she got her Flu shot! I think Chase thought she was crazy! He said, "Grandma, you actually LIKE getting a shot?"
Today started out ok. I had my yearly px at the Dr. today and Cathy tagged along. She really likes Dr. Carlson in Story City & was happy to go with me. While we were there I asked about getting her Flu shot (I can get mine at work). As we sat down in the waiting room Cathy started to pull her sleeve up... she was anxious about getting the shot... I explained we needed to wait until we were in the exam room. Once we got back to the exam room she started to take her sweater off, she had her arm out & was about to pull her sweater off over her head before we even got the door shut... once again I stopped her and said we had to wait a bit. While we were waiting for Dr. Carlson, nurse Cindy came in and gave Cathy her Flu Shot! Thanks Cindy!!!
Brad took Cathy to Wal-Mart this afternoon... her favorite place to go. They picked up a bird feeder for her & more kleenex. She grabbed two bags of chocolate chips & said, "Cookies." (She used to make lots of cookies.) So when I got home with the kids after school Brad was baking away a storm in the kitchen! Just as he sealed the lid on the cookies he had just baked she grabbed the container & took it down to our entry to put with her stuff to take to Wisconsin. Brad said, "Mom, I didn't make those for you to take with you! They are for us to eat here!" She just laughed & brought them back up... I am sure we will end up taking most of them with us Saturday when we head up for Deer Season/Family Thanksgiving.
Supper time was a bit chaotic. I had the chicken baking in the oven & the kids coloring crafts at the table. Tracy called to chat & I went downstairs so I could talk to her about Cathy out of her earshot... I was only gone 2 minutes & by the time I got back up she had pulled the chicken out of the oven & set the HOT pan directly on the dining room table! She had dished up chicken for the kids... that wasn't cooked! And there was a trail of chicken grease across the floor from the stove to the table! ARGH! I called for backup, "Brad!" And quickly grabbed the kids chicken from them before they ate & tried to clean up the mess. I guess the phone is off limits to me at meal time from now on!
After supper the kiddos & I ran over to Hansen's to deliver Cub Scout Popcorn & visit a bit. When we came home & pulled in the driveway I noticed something sitting outside our garage... it was Cathy's suitcase, purse, & 2 bags of her movies... It is Freezing Cold & Extremely Windy tonight!! (Lovely Iowa wind... no trees to stop the bone chillin cold!) The kids helped me carry her stuff back inside. Brad said she had been doing that since we left. Carrying her stuff out to his truck, he carried it in again, she carried it out again... I guess she is ready to head home again... but this is the first time her things have ended up outside of the house! Usually it is just sitting in the entryway.
So... I am off to bed. I am working a few hours tomorrow morning at ISU. If Brad is home he will be here with her, if not my Mom is coming out to stay with her. Then I am going to Chase's Thanksgiving Lunch at School... yummy School Lunch.... (Jenny said they made 80 pumpkin pies today!)
She was excited to tell the kids she got her Flu shot! I think Chase thought she was crazy! He said, "Grandma, you actually LIKE getting a shot?"
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Cathy's Room
Just wanted to share her room here in Iowa with you. Brad painted the one wall in a cranberry color... hoping to bring the Wisconsin feeling here for her... He vows to never paint anything but white again!!! LOL I have put a few photos of all her 8 Grandchildren in the room. Plus I framed a picture I took of their front yard in Wisconsin last year & she helped me hang it up this week.
Tuesdays with Cathy...
Today was another interesting day...
Let me start off by saying that the weather is fine today in Iowa... but for some reason Cathy kept turning on our weather radio...?...? She would walk back to our bedroom and hit the on button & it would broadcast the emergency weather... of which there was none... over and over the computerized voice said that there were clouds in the sky and a high of 60 something, no wind, no snow, no tornadoes, no floods... I am not sure what she was worried about and every time I would ask her she would just start laughing. Hmmmm In the past Cathy used to watch the weather channel alot & was usually up to date on the weather. When Brad & I lived next door in the trailer, before we built our house, I clipped a cartoon out of the paper that showed two guys talking on the front porch & pointing out a trailer in the yard, the one guy said, "That is how we keep the tornadoes away from the house." She had it hanging on her fridge. (Oh yeah... I can't remember if I mentioned this but our mobile home finally went mobile last week! We sold it to a guy in Nevada & they moved it out of here! HIP HIP HOORAY! We have a great view now!)
This morning I mentioned to Brad that the trashman is coming tomorrow... then this afternoon I heard the bells on the front door ring (I have Christmas bells hanging on it so I can hear Cathy go in and out... she is fast) & before I knew it she was in our van & driving it... MY HEART STOPPED... all I could think of was that she was heading to Wisconsin, going home, & she hasn't driven in months... how was I going to stop her?!!! By the time I got outside she was parking the van behind Brad's truck... she was moving it so the trashman could get to the trash.... PHEW! Crisis diverted for the moment!! Now I have to decide where to keep (hide) all our vehicle keys... since my van keys were in my purse & she dug them out! (If I am not careful I will hide them from myself also...)
Who remembers whoopee cushions?? This is one of my "kids embarrassing me in a public place memories" - Mia picked one out for Chase for his Birthday... she insisted on carrying it through the store while playing with it, every time we passed someone they would look at me... Mia was smiling & laughing & making farting noises and everyone was looking at me... I wish I could have been holding a sign that said, "I didn't fart - my daughter is holding a whoopee cushion!" So anyways... Cathy has also enjoyed the whoopee cushion, today she would randomly squeeze it at our dog... Lizzie would bark at her & run in circles... Cathy would laugh & laugh.
This evening Brad started burning leaves & the kids were helping him rake and pick up the leaves. Cathy helped out & really enjoyed herself... she spent 2 hours out there with them... to the point that the kids were getting mad because she kept taking their leaves from them & they were having fun playing in the piles. The picture below is of Brad pointing out dog poop that he almost picked up with the leaves & Cathy laughing her head off! I know... I just typed dog poop...
Today's habits: whoopee cushion, weather radio, watching "The Christmas Card" & "Pride & Prejudice", and brewing coffee (Brad brewed some of my french vanilla coffee this morning & Cathy finished off the pot and brewed another 3 pots today!!) And we also ran out of Kleenex again... I just bought 8 boxes last week... I might need stock in that also!
Let me start off by saying that the weather is fine today in Iowa... but for some reason Cathy kept turning on our weather radio...?...? She would walk back to our bedroom and hit the on button & it would broadcast the emergency weather... of which there was none... over and over the computerized voice said that there were clouds in the sky and a high of 60 something, no wind, no snow, no tornadoes, no floods... I am not sure what she was worried about and every time I would ask her she would just start laughing. Hmmmm In the past Cathy used to watch the weather channel alot & was usually up to date on the weather. When Brad & I lived next door in the trailer, before we built our house, I clipped a cartoon out of the paper that showed two guys talking on the front porch & pointing out a trailer in the yard, the one guy said, "That is how we keep the tornadoes away from the house." She had it hanging on her fridge. (Oh yeah... I can't remember if I mentioned this but our mobile home finally went mobile last week! We sold it to a guy in Nevada & they moved it out of here! HIP HIP HOORAY! We have a great view now!)
This morning I mentioned to Brad that the trashman is coming tomorrow... then this afternoon I heard the bells on the front door ring (I have Christmas bells hanging on it so I can hear Cathy go in and out... she is fast) & before I knew it she was in our van & driving it... MY HEART STOPPED... all I could think of was that she was heading to Wisconsin, going home, & she hasn't driven in months... how was I going to stop her?!!! By the time I got outside she was parking the van behind Brad's truck... she was moving it so the trashman could get to the trash.... PHEW! Crisis diverted for the moment!! Now I have to decide where to keep (hide) all our vehicle keys... since my van keys were in my purse & she dug them out! (If I am not careful I will hide them from myself also...)
Who remembers whoopee cushions?? This is one of my "kids embarrassing me in a public place memories" - Mia picked one out for Chase for his Birthday... she insisted on carrying it through the store while playing with it, every time we passed someone they would look at me... Mia was smiling & laughing & making farting noises and everyone was looking at me... I wish I could have been holding a sign that said, "I didn't fart - my daughter is holding a whoopee cushion!" So anyways... Cathy has also enjoyed the whoopee cushion, today she would randomly squeeze it at our dog... Lizzie would bark at her & run in circles... Cathy would laugh & laugh.
This evening Brad started burning leaves & the kids were helping him rake and pick up the leaves. Cathy helped out & really enjoyed herself... she spent 2 hours out there with them... to the point that the kids were getting mad because she kept taking their leaves from them & they were having fun playing in the piles. The picture below is of Brad pointing out dog poop that he almost picked up with the leaves & Cathy laughing her head off! I know... I just typed dog poop...
Today's habits: whoopee cushion, weather radio, watching "The Christmas Card" & "Pride & Prejudice", and brewing coffee (Brad brewed some of my french vanilla coffee this morning & Cathy finished off the pot and brewed another 3 pots today!!) And we also ran out of Kleenex again... I just bought 8 boxes last week... I might need stock in that also!
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Hamburger Helper Lasagna Sandwiches?
Sorry Folks... Here is the scoop on our week. Brad has been home alot this week, he had class 2 days this week for work & the rail has been moving VERY SLOW... so it is nice to have him home & have his help!
Sunday:
Jean & John stopped over for a visit in the morning. It was nice to see them & that always puts Cathy in a good mood & makes her smile. After lunch we headed home to Iowa... Cathy didn't seem to be upset about coming home with us this time, however Misty (her dog) was coming with us and that seemed to make her Happy. So we hit the road... Cathy, 2 kiddos, 2 dogs, & me... needless to say it was a LONG trip with lots of bathroom stops, snack stops, & arguments over what to listen to on the radio (Cathy wanted Christmas songs, Mia wanted kids songs, & Chase wanted Dad's Rock-n-Roll songs). We miraculously made it home in just a little over 5 hours & before the sun went down.
Monday - Friday:
The first 2 days home Cathy kept moving things out of the corner in our living room where we usually put up our Christmas tree... hint hint... I wasn't really ready to put another tree up (since I had just put hers up in Wisconsin)... she also kept looking into the closet that holds our tree, opening the door & closing the door, over & over again ... I realized she wasn't going to give up. So... Brad brought the tree up & the kids had fun decorating it. At first I said "No Christmas decorations in the house yet... just snowmen..." but that only lasted a few minutes, before I knew it Cathy & the kids were bringing up the Christmas decorations. So... it's Christmas at the Handly's! The Schwans man came Wednesday night and said, "Your Killing me... it's not even Thanksgiving yet!" Yep... I think we are the first house in Iowa to put up decorations!
I bought her a new movie this week... "The Christmas Card" it is a great romantic Hallmark movie & she LOVES it! She has watched it everyday since over & over again. She sings along to the Christmas music & carries the DVD case around. I am thankful that Eragon & The Holiday are getting a break... I needed a change also!!!
One night I made hamburger helper to use up some Hamburger in the freezer. She made a plate for her & Brad (this is interesting to me... she used to always take care of her boys & she still does... she will make a plate for Brad & her if he is home). I looked over and she was getting out the hamburger buns and putting the hamburger helper lasagna in the bun...?... Brad doesn't remember her ever doing this.?.. hmmm. The kids then wanted to try it that way & we all ended up having Hamburger Helper Lasagna Sandwiches! Yummy...???
Gayle came down Thursday evening and spent the night. She had remembered him saying he would be coming down and on Wednesday she put her bags down by the door, when I told her he wasn't coming until tomorrow she took them back up. But then Thursday morning they were by the door again. She attempted to make Gayle breakfast Thursday morning again... He headed home Friday to get ready for Deer Season/Thanksgiving next weekend and to Bow Hunt Saturday. He is putting up a dog run beside the house... HALLELUJAH! Since during deer season with the whole family there we can have up to 22 people & 4 dogs at a time... it gets a little bit crowded.
My friend Jenny came over to cut Cathy's hair. (THANKS SO MUCH JEN!) Cathy has cut it the past 2 weekends when we were up at her house. This last weekend it looked almost like she put a bowl on her head & cut the top layer of her hair around the bowl... so Jenny tried her best to even things out a bit... it looks better than it did, but there wasn't much she could do. Cathy sat very patiently while Jenny cut her hair & seemed pleased with the results. :)
Saturday I had a Sendoutcards open house so I took Cathy & the kids to Ryan's house. The drive down was tough. When we were passing Ankeny on the interstate she pointed like I should get off at that exit. I explained that Ryan & Gretchen hadn't lived in Ankeny for a few years & that we were going to their home in Dexter. She said, "NO" and gave me the look. She also said, "JcPenney's, Gretchen works at JcPenney's." (Gretchen has never worked at JcPenney's) She then started repeating the Ankeny zip code over and over for the next 45 minutes. When we got to the Dexter exit she said, "NO, Ryan does not live here" and gave me the look again (stern facial expression with eyes glaring... I don't like this new look, it is almost a bit scary). I tried to again calm her by saying yes he is living here now... fortunately he called while we were talking and that seemed to help. You will have to ask them how it went... I think she was restless at their house. But by the time we got home she seemed better. She did go to the bathroom alot... in fact Brad counted past 20 times in about 2 hours... going to the bathroom seems to be related to stress situations.
Today:
...we had a rough start. Brad got called to work in the middle of the night. When I got up this morning it didn't hit me until about 8:30 that I had to find someone to watch Cathy while the kids & I went to church. I called my Mom & she said it was ok to bring her in to their house. So at about 9 I told Cathy we were going to Church & she was going to spend an hour at my parent's house. She said, "NO" and walked away from me. I tried re-wording it a few different ways with no luck & I kept getting "the look". Too make a long story short... it took 20 minutes & me having to retell the story about why she can't be alone anymore (which always makes me feel like I am going to start bawling) before I got her to come along... actually it was me saying, "Brad will be mad at me if I leave you alone and something happens to you." that got her to stand up and put her coat on. I had her bring her movie to give her something to do at my parents house that would be comforting to her. The kiddos & I got to Sunday School late but we made it. It was such a tough call deciding whether or not to teach this year... if I would have known how quickly she was going to decline I wouldn't have taught, but at the time I didn't want to give it up... it is something I enjoy doing... I am so Blessed to have Tammy teaching with me, but I also feel bad that she is getting the majority of the work.
I also made the executive decision to stop giving her the medication the Doctor prescribed... it doesn't seem to be helping & she isn't sleeping any better. I can't bring myself to give her the sleeping pill either... it just seems to be a pill with too many bad side effects also. So I am holding out for her next appointment to see what else we can try for sleep.
Brad reminded me that in her Will she had mentioned something about "always give me hugs & tell me you love me". I am going to have to find our copy and see exactly what it says... but in the meantime we are giving her all the hugs we can & telling her we love her as much as we can. This always brings a smile to her face! It seems like the best medicine we can give her.
Sunday:
Jean & John stopped over for a visit in the morning. It was nice to see them & that always puts Cathy in a good mood & makes her smile. After lunch we headed home to Iowa... Cathy didn't seem to be upset about coming home with us this time, however Misty (her dog) was coming with us and that seemed to make her Happy. So we hit the road... Cathy, 2 kiddos, 2 dogs, & me... needless to say it was a LONG trip with lots of bathroom stops, snack stops, & arguments over what to listen to on the radio (Cathy wanted Christmas songs, Mia wanted kids songs, & Chase wanted Dad's Rock-n-Roll songs). We miraculously made it home in just a little over 5 hours & before the sun went down.
Monday - Friday:
The first 2 days home Cathy kept moving things out of the corner in our living room where we usually put up our Christmas tree... hint hint... I wasn't really ready to put another tree up (since I had just put hers up in Wisconsin)... she also kept looking into the closet that holds our tree, opening the door & closing the door, over & over again ... I realized she wasn't going to give up. So... Brad brought the tree up & the kids had fun decorating it. At first I said "No Christmas decorations in the house yet... just snowmen..." but that only lasted a few minutes, before I knew it Cathy & the kids were bringing up the Christmas decorations. So... it's Christmas at the Handly's! The Schwans man came Wednesday night and said, "Your Killing me... it's not even Thanksgiving yet!" Yep... I think we are the first house in Iowa to put up decorations!
I bought her a new movie this week... "The Christmas Card" it is a great romantic Hallmark movie & she LOVES it! She has watched it everyday since over & over again. She sings along to the Christmas music & carries the DVD case around. I am thankful that Eragon & The Holiday are getting a break... I needed a change also!!!
One night I made hamburger helper to use up some Hamburger in the freezer. She made a plate for her & Brad (this is interesting to me... she used to always take care of her boys & she still does... she will make a plate for Brad & her if he is home). I looked over and she was getting out the hamburger buns and putting the hamburger helper lasagna in the bun...?... Brad doesn't remember her ever doing this.?.. hmmm. The kids then wanted to try it that way & we all ended up having Hamburger Helper Lasagna Sandwiches! Yummy...???
Gayle came down Thursday evening and spent the night. She had remembered him saying he would be coming down and on Wednesday she put her bags down by the door, when I told her he wasn't coming until tomorrow she took them back up. But then Thursday morning they were by the door again. She attempted to make Gayle breakfast Thursday morning again... He headed home Friday to get ready for Deer Season/Thanksgiving next weekend and to Bow Hunt Saturday. He is putting up a dog run beside the house... HALLELUJAH! Since during deer season with the whole family there we can have up to 22 people & 4 dogs at a time... it gets a little bit crowded.
My friend Jenny came over to cut Cathy's hair. (THANKS SO MUCH JEN!) Cathy has cut it the past 2 weekends when we were up at her house. This last weekend it looked almost like she put a bowl on her head & cut the top layer of her hair around the bowl... so Jenny tried her best to even things out a bit... it looks better than it did, but there wasn't much she could do. Cathy sat very patiently while Jenny cut her hair & seemed pleased with the results. :)
Saturday I had a Sendoutcards open house so I took Cathy & the kids to Ryan's house. The drive down was tough. When we were passing Ankeny on the interstate she pointed like I should get off at that exit. I explained that Ryan & Gretchen hadn't lived in Ankeny for a few years & that we were going to their home in Dexter. She said, "NO" and gave me the look. She also said, "JcPenney's, Gretchen works at JcPenney's." (Gretchen has never worked at JcPenney's) She then started repeating the Ankeny zip code over and over for the next 45 minutes. When we got to the Dexter exit she said, "NO, Ryan does not live here" and gave me the look again (stern facial expression with eyes glaring... I don't like this new look, it is almost a bit scary). I tried to again calm her by saying yes he is living here now... fortunately he called while we were talking and that seemed to help. You will have to ask them how it went... I think she was restless at their house. But by the time we got home she seemed better. She did go to the bathroom alot... in fact Brad counted past 20 times in about 2 hours... going to the bathroom seems to be related to stress situations.
Today:
...we had a rough start. Brad got called to work in the middle of the night. When I got up this morning it didn't hit me until about 8:30 that I had to find someone to watch Cathy while the kids & I went to church. I called my Mom & she said it was ok to bring her in to their house. So at about 9 I told Cathy we were going to Church & she was going to spend an hour at my parent's house. She said, "NO" and walked away from me. I tried re-wording it a few different ways with no luck & I kept getting "the look". Too make a long story short... it took 20 minutes & me having to retell the story about why she can't be alone anymore (which always makes me feel like I am going to start bawling) before I got her to come along... actually it was me saying, "Brad will be mad at me if I leave you alone and something happens to you." that got her to stand up and put her coat on. I had her bring her movie to give her something to do at my parents house that would be comforting to her. The kiddos & I got to Sunday School late but we made it. It was such a tough call deciding whether or not to teach this year... if I would have known how quickly she was going to decline I wouldn't have taught, but at the time I didn't want to give it up... it is something I enjoy doing... I am so Blessed to have Tammy teaching with me, but I also feel bad that she is getting the majority of the work.
I also made the executive decision to stop giving her the medication the Doctor prescribed... it doesn't seem to be helping & she isn't sleeping any better. I can't bring myself to give her the sleeping pill either... it just seems to be a pill with too many bad side effects also. So I am holding out for her next appointment to see what else we can try for sleep.
Brad reminded me that in her Will she had mentioned something about "always give me hugs & tell me you love me". I am going to have to find our copy and see exactly what it says... but in the meantime we are giving her all the hugs we can & telling her we love her as much as we can. This always brings a smile to her face! It seems like the best medicine we can give her.
Saturday, November 3, 2007
But the fire is so delightful... (usually)
Tonight Cathy started a fire in the fireplace. Unfortunately... the vent wasn't open... which I didn't realize until too late. I was watching her start the fire (to prevent injury since last winter she burnt her hand) yet trying to still give her some independence, but I didn't check the fireplace first. Smoke started rolling out of the fireplace and she didn't know what to do & couldn't find the lever to open the vent so she just walked away from the fireplace with no look of concern on her face! Gayle & Chase were down bow hunting by the river so I called Brad & then Gary to find out where the lever was... I was looking on the side & Gary told me it was on the top. It was hidden behind the firescreen chain. (sorry, I don't know technical fireplace terms...) By the time I got it open the house was full of smoke & my eyes were burning. I had sent Mia outside & told Cathy to open all the windows & doors. Funny thing... the smoke alarm didn't go off! (I have experience with this, they usually go off for me)
It is hard to watch her struggle with things like this... things that used to be such a normal part of her life.
It is hard to watch her struggle with things like this... things that used to be such a normal part of her life.
Decorating for Christmas?!
This morning I ran to the grocery store and stopped by to say Hello to Barb & Gary at KFC. While I was gone I left Cathy & the kids with Gayle... let's just say I think he was glad when I finally made it back! (I tend to not be a very fast errand runner... I am easily side tracked...) He said he would put something down & she would pick it up, she was already rearranging the furniture in the living room from where he had moved it, & the kids were busy too. He finally had the brilliant idea to let the kids smash old popcans with a hammer... they of course LOVED this idea & were sitting in the back of the gator when I got back smashing away... I of course was nervous they were going to cut themselves, so I switched them to plastic bottles. (Mean Mom that I am) When I came in the house Cathy had brought the Christmas tree box down from upstairs, had water in the crockpot heating up (for the roast I was bringing home), had cut her hair again (argh!), and was attempting to untangle Christmas tree lights!!
I tried to talk her into waiting for Thanksgiving to decorate for Christmas... but it was useless... so I helped her put the tree up. We started singing Christmas songs & I actually began to get into the Christmas spirit! She spent the next 45 minutes untangling Christmas lights... or so I thought... but the pile she was untangling was retangling itself... so I then spent the next 20 minutes untangling her untangled/retangled mess... Uffda! But... we finally got the lights on! Hooray! Now we are just waiting for snow...
It is quite nice sitting in the rocking chair with the glow of Christmas lights again...
No movies today... Disney channel.
Friday, November 2, 2007
On the Road Again
Well... this morning when I got up Cathy was packing our van. She had her suitcase, movies, our dog food, & boots for the kids packed! I figured if we didn't head North today... it would make for a long day. So... off we went. Over the river & through the woods to Grandmother's house we go!
I wasn't in any hurry today... just wanted to make it before sunset. We stopped a few times to stretch & get snacks. Once we got to Winona we took a detour to a scenic overlook. I was worried how she would handle it... curvy road & high cliffs... but she did really well! She even walked to the overlook with us!! After we crossed the Mississippi we stopped at an Apple orchard... this was Chase's request. He remembered stopping here last year & we made it just in time because tomorrow is their last day open for the season. They didn't have any pumpkins left, but they had plenty of Honeycrisp apples (our favorite!), they also had toy tractors for the kids to pedal on, & the owner gave Mia a dog biscuit to give to his Dog.
We made it up here in 5 1/2 hours... not too bad of timing with 2 kids, a dog, & Grandma who wants to stop at every rest area. I got a bag of cheddar chex mix & Cathy had it gone in about 30 minutes along with a candy apple sucker, 3 musketeers (her favorite), and almost all of the bubble tape! I bought a few more snacks the next stop but hid them in my door...
When we got here Gayle was going bow hunting so Chase got to go sit with Grandpa in the newest deer stand. Cathy has been busy around the house since we got here. Rearranging things, doing laundry, & feeding the dogs apples. Hoping for a nice relaxing weekend...
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Flyswatters & Oreos
Well it has been a busy week. The kids have been trick or treating, we have had school Halloween parties, & Cathy started her new medication.
While I took the kiddos out trick or treating, Brad stayed with his Mom. He took her over to see Rhonda & Larry. She was excited to get a bag full of caramel apple suckers... I think she ate most of them that night! In fact, I think she has eaten almost 1/3 of the kids candy! I have hidden their favorites from her, so they won't be sad. Wednesday Cathy spent an hour at my parents house while I went into Chase's school for his Halloween party... I asked her if she would be comfortable doing that, I said, "Cathy, the Dr. doesn't want you to be alone and I need to go to Chase's party at school, would you be ok going to my parents house for an hour with Mia?" She answered, "Sure, you can go to Chase's party." and then she grabbed her 2 favorite movies and her coat and got into the van. She doesn't always answer with the exact words, but her actions answer for her.
Mia & Grandma Cathy have been interesting this week! It is almost like having 2 little girls around... sometimes they fight like sisters. The other day Mia got tired of watching Cathy's movies over & over again (Eragon & Pride and Prejudice this week), so Mia took the DVD player remote from Cathy... Cathy then grabbed the flyswatter and smacked Mia over the head... Mia then gave a dramatic cry followed by running to me & tattling on Grandma Cathy. We talked about it & I thought it was resolved, I should have known better, because the next thing I know Mia sneaks behind Grandma's chair & grabs the flyswatter... then she hits Grandma over the head!
Grandma gets up to take the flyswatter back... I get there just in time to break up the fight! Uffda! So I let Mia pick out a movie to watch in my bedroom. Problem solved for the moment...
Cathy has become very attached to that flyswatter. She has been swatting at the orange ladybugs on the window (I don't know if you have them, but they stink, bite , and are hard to get rid of!!) however... there is one minor problem, the ladybugs are not on the inside of the window... they are crawling on the OUTSIDE of the window... needless to say, she gets quite frustrated that they are not falling off the window... but she keeps trying, you have to give her that...
It is hard to say if we are noticing a difference in her yet with the new medication... it is most likely to soon to tell, but it does seem like she has been more restless the past week. She is constantly looking out the window. In fact last night she kept telling me to move my van back in the driveway. I asked her why... and she said, "Gayle... coming... truck and the trailer." I explained to her again that Gayle is at work in Wisconsin... she gave me the "angry Cathy look (tilting her chin & piercing her lips)" and said, "No, I just saw... truck... up there". I explained that our neighbors moved and that the owner of the field has a truck. He does keep driving by our house to go down to the field & they just combined the cornfield next to our house... which has added alot of traffic the past few days. I am thankful that we live in the country since we usually don't get too much traffic out here.
I am still debating about going up to Wisconsin for the weekend. Part of me thinks it would be good for her to go home a few days & see Gayle (and Misty). Her bags are packed and down by the door today. Part of me thinks it will make things worse - she may regress faster if we keep moving her or she may not want to come home with me again. The kids REALLY want to go up to their house. I am going to sleep on it... maybe God will give me a vision in my sleep! :)
(I wish it was of palm trees & a beach!)
Gayle did call earlier this week. Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota called and they want her to come sooner for more testing. A new MRI is available, some type of research/chemical study... I don't know the facts yet. But they want to see her in the middle of December for 2 days. MRI one day and then MRI the following day to compare the 2 and an appointment with the Doctor. She heard me talking to Gayle on the phone (with her radar ears) and when I got off she did this... she pointed at her head and moved her finger in circles & said MRI. I said yes. She kept walking around the house and saying MRI while doing that hand motion... I asked her if she was okay having 2 MRI's and she said "Yep." We'll see...
Oh yeah... Oreos. We LOVE oreos & milk here... but Cathy never used to drink milk, except for maybe a small glass with supper. But lately she has been drinking almost 2 gallons a day along with eating oreos!!!! We have Brad's Great Grandma's (Cathy's Grandma) glass cookie jar full of oreos... at least we try to keep it full. At supper last night I set the table and poured glasses of milk. We sat down to eat and all of the sudden Brad says, "Who has been dunking Oreo's in my milk!" Cathy spit across the table & burst out laughing!!! (again) She is sneaky sneaky! She had her own glass gone already... Brad just kept looking at his glass & at me... it was like he was thinking, do I have to drink this or are you going to get me another glass!
So... we are checking on getting stock in Oreo's, flyswatters, & toilet paper! (I went to Sam's Club tonight & bought another 72 rolls!!) And does anyone know where to find Mr. Darcy??? :)
While I took the kiddos out trick or treating, Brad stayed with his Mom. He took her over to see Rhonda & Larry. She was excited to get a bag full of caramel apple suckers... I think she ate most of them that night! In fact, I think she has eaten almost 1/3 of the kids candy! I have hidden their favorites from her, so they won't be sad. Wednesday Cathy spent an hour at my parents house while I went into Chase's school for his Halloween party... I asked her if she would be comfortable doing that, I said, "Cathy, the Dr. doesn't want you to be alone and I need to go to Chase's party at school, would you be ok going to my parents house for an hour with Mia?" She answered, "Sure, you can go to Chase's party." and then she grabbed her 2 favorite movies and her coat and got into the van. She doesn't always answer with the exact words, but her actions answer for her.
Mia & Grandma Cathy have been interesting this week! It is almost like having 2 little girls around... sometimes they fight like sisters. The other day Mia got tired of watching Cathy's movies over & over again (Eragon & Pride and Prejudice this week), so Mia took the DVD player remote from Cathy... Cathy then grabbed the flyswatter and smacked Mia over the head... Mia then gave a dramatic cry followed by running to me & tattling on Grandma Cathy. We talked about it & I thought it was resolved, I should have known better, because the next thing I know Mia sneaks behind Grandma's chair & grabs the flyswatter... then she hits Grandma over the head!
Grandma gets up to take the flyswatter back... I get there just in time to break up the fight! Uffda! So I let Mia pick out a movie to watch in my bedroom. Problem solved for the moment...
Cathy has become very attached to that flyswatter. She has been swatting at the orange ladybugs on the window (I don't know if you have them, but they stink, bite , and are hard to get rid of!!) however... there is one minor problem, the ladybugs are not on the inside of the window... they are crawling on the OUTSIDE of the window... needless to say, she gets quite frustrated that they are not falling off the window... but she keeps trying, you have to give her that...
It is hard to say if we are noticing a difference in her yet with the new medication... it is most likely to soon to tell, but it does seem like she has been more restless the past week. She is constantly looking out the window. In fact last night she kept telling me to move my van back in the driveway. I asked her why... and she said, "Gayle... coming... truck and the trailer." I explained to her again that Gayle is at work in Wisconsin... she gave me the "angry Cathy look (tilting her chin & piercing her lips)" and said, "No, I just saw... truck... up there". I explained that our neighbors moved and that the owner of the field has a truck. He does keep driving by our house to go down to the field & they just combined the cornfield next to our house... which has added alot of traffic the past few days. I am thankful that we live in the country since we usually don't get too much traffic out here.
I am still debating about going up to Wisconsin for the weekend. Part of me thinks it would be good for her to go home a few days & see Gayle (and Misty). Her bags are packed and down by the door today. Part of me thinks it will make things worse - she may regress faster if we keep moving her or she may not want to come home with me again. The kids REALLY want to go up to their house. I am going to sleep on it... maybe God will give me a vision in my sleep! :)
(I wish it was of palm trees & a beach!)
Gayle did call earlier this week. Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota called and they want her to come sooner for more testing. A new MRI is available, some type of research/chemical study... I don't know the facts yet. But they want to see her in the middle of December for 2 days. MRI one day and then MRI the following day to compare the 2 and an appointment with the Doctor. She heard me talking to Gayle on the phone (with her radar ears) and when I got off she did this... she pointed at her head and moved her finger in circles & said MRI. I said yes. She kept walking around the house and saying MRI while doing that hand motion... I asked her if she was okay having 2 MRI's and she said "Yep." We'll see...
Oh yeah... Oreos. We LOVE oreos & milk here... but Cathy never used to drink milk, except for maybe a small glass with supper. But lately she has been drinking almost 2 gallons a day along with eating oreos!!!! We have Brad's Great Grandma's (Cathy's Grandma) glass cookie jar full of oreos... at least we try to keep it full. At supper last night I set the table and poured glasses of milk. We sat down to eat and all of the sudden Brad says, "Who has been dunking Oreo's in my milk!" Cathy spit across the table & burst out laughing!!! (again) She is sneaky sneaky! She had her own glass gone already... Brad just kept looking at his glass & at me... it was like he was thinking, do I have to drink this or are you going to get me another glass!
So... we are checking on getting stock in Oreo's, flyswatters, & toilet paper! (I went to Sam's Club tonight & bought another 72 rolls!!) And does anyone know where to find Mr. Darcy??? :)
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