Earlier that weekend she unpacked Gayle's work travel bag & burned his Carhartt jeans!! I don't know whether she did it on purpose or on accident... I would like to think it was an accident, but with her anger towards him... I am not so sure. She washed clothes & turned alot of things pink this week also. She took pictures off the walls and shoved them into drawers. She completely cleared off her bedroom dresser & took all the clothes out of the drawers... stacking the clothes along the walls in their room?? I wish I knew what she was thinking. She was constantly rummaging through drawers, papers on the counter, cupboards... rearranging & moving things. Whenever she saw Gayle with a Cigar in his mouth she got angry... he usually smokes a Cigar when he is working outside... shoveling snow, working in the yard, etc...
Brad & I came back to Iowa Christmas day for Christmas with my family... & Brad headed back to work that evening. Cathy stayed with Gayle because she had a follow up appt. in LaCrosse Wednesday. (The appointment went fairly well & the procedure that was done is helping things.) I talked to Gayle on the phone Tuesday night & she was going through papers again. While I was talking to him she was slugging his shoulder... I told him to tell her I said to please stop. He told her & she stopped temporarily. When they pulled out of LaCrosse to head back to Iowa she kept pointing back home. He was talking to me on the phone & said he had to go because she was upset. They got here at around 2 o'clock & he headed back home because he had appointments today related to her future care. He called last night when he got home because he was concerned about her behavior. He doesn't want her with us or around the kids if she is angry. But once he left she improved. She has not hit at us or yelled directly at us. If that happens... we will no longer be able to take care of her.
Since Thanksgiving things seem to be spiraling downhill so quickly! She seems to change day by day instead of month by month. Tonight she was trying to tell me something but all she could do was point away & say, "Actually, on fire." She can't seem to communicate at all anymore. Maybe less than a handful of times during the day you can get her to say yes or no. And sometimes she will surprise you with a sentence... but not much. It is usually, "I fed Rudy today" or "I took a shower downstairs". Toby stopped by for a few minutes today & she hugged him up a bit. His Dog is staying with us while they are here in Iowa for a few days staying with Tracy's parents. Maggie, Toby's Dog, used to LOVE Cathy & spending time with her because Cathy used to SPOIL dogs! But this trip she has stayed in our entry most of the time. Cathy tends to pull the dogs around by the collar now & is rough with them... something she never would have done before. Even Misty distanced herself from Cathy when we were up there over Christmas. We noticed that she would stay out in the living room with us when Cathy went to bed, instead of going with her. I wonder if they have doggy therapy available??
So now... the decision no one wanted to even think about making... is coming up sooner than we thought. Discussion has begun about Nursing Home care. Gayle is getting his financial paperwork & Medical paperwork in order... something he had hoped to put off for much longer than this. The home up in Wisconsin has openings & they have a very nice facility set up for Alzheimers care. I called here & they have never taken someone under 60 before... they are still discussing that possibility & she would be 2nd on the list here. I can't speak for Toby & Ryan about how they feel... but I know that Brad will probably fight tooth & nail to keep her with us as long as he can. He is very emotional about this. (I wish we knew what she would have wanted... & then we wouldn't be facing this decision with such heartache!)
I have mixed emotions. I don't want to see her in a home quite yet. She still knows us, she still laughs & smiles with us, she still hugs & kisses us, she knows more than she is able to show us. But... her anger & frustration is beginning to make me uncomfortable around the kids. If it was just Brad & I we could handle it for as long as it takes. But... with the kids... we have to draw the line at some point. It just isn't a line we want to draw. How do you make a decision like that??
All the time the kids & I spent with her over that past year helping didn't seem that hard. But up until the past 3 months we only did it sporadically, a few days or weeks here & there. It was much easier to help take care of her over short periods of time & then get a break for a while until the next time. But as fast as she is progressing now & caring for her basically 24/7 for the past 3 months... it is hard. And I Love being a nurse. But it is the hardest thing I have ever done! It is hard to imagine. I thought I knew what Gayle was going through... but now that we are living it... I realize that I had no idea how hard the past year had been for him.
Aunt Charlene is coming on the 31st & staying until the 9th of January. She is planning on keeping Cathy up in Wisconsin with her... but I am going to tell her if things get to tough they can stay with us. (I know she can handle it... but I am not sure it is a good idea to have her around Gayle... although he plans on traveling for work most of the time) Just having her support around would be as much help as anything! I am truly looking forward to time with my family again. Time with the kids & the freedom to go and do what we want to do. But yet I feel guilty about looking forward to time without her.
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