Our Families Journey Caring for a Mom with FTLD-MND

It is important to know as you read this journal that this was Cathy's life post diagnosis...

To know Cathy Truly you must know that she was: a Wife, Mother of 3 boys, Grandmother of 9, Sister, Niece, Aunt, Daughter, and Friend.

Our families journey began with Cathy's diagnosis the week of Thanksgiving 2006, Cathy was 52. Her original diagnosis was Pick's Disease/FTD. Looking back her symptoms most likely began 3-5 years before diagnosis. Most of the Doctors have told us that from onset of symptoms to death... the average timeframe is 4-7 years. (sigh) In the end her brain autopsy showed Frontotemporal Lobar Degeneration with Motor Neuron Disease FTLD-MND. (Basically... Frontal Lobe Dementia with Lou Gehrig's Disease)

Monday, October 29, 2007

Doctor & Moving to Iowa


Today was her 4 month check up (truly it was supposed to be her 6 month check up, but she was progressing so fast that in June he said to come sooner). This morning just started off bad. She knew today was her appointment and she was not happy. She says she likes Dr. Loepfe but she DOES NOT like the testing. It isn't that it is painful... it is hard for her, frustrating... drawing time on a clock, drawing a box, connecting dots, etc. She knows that she should know how, but she just can't do it right. Rhonda emailed me this morning and told me to tell Cathy, "just do your best." So I did... that seemed to ease her for a little bit.

Complication~
We noticed all morning she hadn't packed her things up to go home with us. The plan was to head back to Iowa after her appointment in LaCrosse. Brad finally asked her, "Mom, what do you want to bring with you back to Iowa?" And she said, "not going." Brad came into the kitchen where I was... he didn't know what to do, he didn't want to be the bad guy... but somehow we had to tell her she was coming home with us and why. It has been troubling both of us for the past few months. I felt like she needed to hear it from her boys or Gayle... not me. So, he did it...

Brad: "Mom, do you understand why you need to come home with us?"
Cathy: she just kept looking at the tv, holding the remote, and repeated what he said
Brad: "Because the Dr. doesn't want you alone anymore because of your illness, if something happened you would be all alone."
Cathy: flipping channels on the tv, no response
Brad: "We want what is best for you Mom, that is why Beth quit her job, so we could take care of you, help you. It has put a financial burden on us, but we want to help you Mom. It is hard for us all. We wish we could take care of you up here... but we can't"
Cathy: she clicked the tv off & on again.
Brad; "Mom, if you don't come home with us you have to go to Pineview or someplace that can take care of you when Dad is gone. When he is home you can be home, but when he is working you cannot be alone."
Cathy: She shook her head no and repeated "pineview"
-by this point Brad had tears in his eyes, but she just kept the same blank look on her face. She looked at both of us with no expression, got up out of her chair, grabbed her suitcase and brought it to the front door. Brad got up and gave her a hug. And that was it... she didn't say anything, but I think she understood.

Dr. Appointment~
We met with the social worker for a few minutes. Nothing new. They don't have much to offer... he asked if we 'understood what we were getting into', he asked if we had discussed what we will do when we can no longer take care of her at home, he mentioned putting her name on waiting lists at those places for when it is time. Then the nurse came and got us because she said Cathy was 'ancy' in the room she was in.

Basically Cathy refused to do her testing today. And since it had only been 4 months the nurse didn't push her. Dr. Loepfe said when the nurse went in the room Cathy was talking to the wall... we told him she usually talks to herself by repeating words... but we have never seen her talking to someone. (I think the nurse just wasn't used to her situation).

The appointment today went the same as in June. He asked her a few questions & she answered him just like last time. He asked "what do you do all day?" She answered, "wash the bed" and looked over at us almost asking us to help her. He asked her about what she eats, if she has fallen, if she is depressed, etc... She smiled and answered all his questions. Then he asked us similar questions. We told him how things were going now. Discussed the changes. (It is hard to talk about her in front of her...) Talked about her sleeping habits, eating habits (she has lost quite a bit of weight since her last visit, most likely because she can no longer drive herself to town and buy ice cream & candy bars plus she is drinking milk all day instead of a 12 pack of pop a day), and a few other things. It was emotional again today... In the end he prescribed her 2 new medications. One to "test" and see if it helps with her memory, most likely not, but it is worth a shot. And another to help her sleep more soundly. We made a follow up appointment in one month to see how her medications are going and to repeat the testing. When he mentioned repeat the testing she lost her smile... he tried joking with her about not studying for it... she didn't laugh.

He also, like the social worker, asked us "do you know what you are getting into?" Yes, we know. But how could we not take care of her? How could we send her to a nursing home at 53? How could Gayle afford to hire 24 hour care for when he is gone? It just seems like a no brain-er for us. Family is Family... period. We will do all we can for as long as we can. She would do the same for us.

On the drive home today we stopped at a rest area along the Mississippi. Cathy & I looked out over the water, the leaves are changing color - most of them have already fallen, it was a Beautiful Day, & I snapped her picture (see above). The ride home went fairly well, she sang along to REO speedwagon with me, worried about the semis blowing a tire, asked to stop at quik trip a few times (wanting a candy bar each time), and laughed at Brad when he would do something to try to make her laugh. One time he looked back at her and said, "Mom, I wasn't any trouble growing up was I?" And she laughed and said, "run away... run away to Wisconsin with Dave". She was right... he did run away in high school... she remembers the past so well! :)

Sunday, October 28, 2007

ricked wood



This morning Cathy didn't get up until a little after 6. I was even up before her... and if you know me, you know I am NOT a morning person. Rhonda left early this morning. She did alot of work in the 2 days she was here... mowed, raked, and even baked. We have been eating her delicious Manicotti for meals today! Thanks again Rhonda.

This morning Gayle got a load of firewood from Ole. Cathy came outside with me and we ricked wood with the guys. Between Gayle, Brad, Cathy, & I (plus Gary in the end) we got it all ricked in less than an hour. It was great to see her working outside again. She said a few times, "Over the years I have ricked alot of wood." Conversation was struck up about it and the memories of the woodshed as a child. She was smiling & laughing with us.

I took Cath to town for Alwood's hot dogs, she asked for hot dogs for lunch, & Alwoods sells the linked hot dogs... like what you see Scooby Doo eating... almost everyone in the family LOVES them. On any given trip up here we usually bring a cooler home full of Alwood's hot dogs and Cheese Curds (fresh & squeaky). Yummy! We also went to Super Walmart (her favorite store) and ran into Bonnie. It was good to see her! I chased Cath around the store for a few minutes... she is so fast, you turn around and she is gone, it is like shopping with a 2 year old. She picked up 2 bottles of Ice (fingernail polish), neosporin, candy bars, & I talked her out of buying alot of other things. We only spent $17!!! Yeah! Usually when she is with me it is alot more than that... Victory!

The rest of the day we just relaxed. She kept turning the TV to Nick and Cartoon Network. No movies today. I also noticed the little sticky note laying on the kitchen counter here... she brought it with her, all of the info about Toby's baby. :)

She also cut her hair again. Uffda! It was finally growing out and starting to look nice again, I was just thinking of asking my friend over who cuts hair to come style it this next week. Too late now, she chopped & layered it again once she got home. Sneaky she is... she just smiled & laughed when I asked her. Sneaky.

She is NOT happy about going to see her Dr. in LaCrosse tomorrow... hopefully it goes ok. They will take Gayle, Brad, & I to visit with the social worker and take Cathy for testing. Then we will all meet together to discuss the results and plan of care.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Excited to be home a few days

Rhonda called and said they made it to Wisconsin ok. She said Cathy talked all the way to Winona... in complete sentences!!! This shows her excitement to go home! She did however quiet down and get nervous on the winding roads the last 45 minutes of the trip. Once they pulled in the long driveway she unbuckled and got very excited. Yelling for Misty. Rhonda also said she has been busy since they got there... picking up, taking out trash, etc... She also mentioned that Gayle has the house looking very good... he has even got down and scrubbed the floors! :)

Thanks Rhonda!!

Friday, October 26, 2007

Helping Brad

Yesterday she helped Brad in the Garage! - I went to get Chase at school and while I was gone Brad was talking to his Mom. He told her when I got home he was going to have me help him bleed the brakes in his Dodge truck. (if you are wondering...I have no idea what that means...) He went to wash up and when he came back out she wasn't in the living room. He looked outside and she was sitting in the driver's seat of his truck! Brad walked out there and she laughed & he said, "what are you going to help me?" and she said, "yeah". And he said, "you remember how to do this?" and she answered, "yeah." So she did... she helped him & she remembered how to do it without him reminding her. It amazes us what she can remember sometimes.

Later on last night we were making supper. Brad slow cooked a brisket... mmmm... & I was making sides. I set some baked beans on the counter and walked across the kitchen to peel potatoes, before I knew it she opened the can and put them in a pan that was sitting dirty in the sink... Argh... (she was trying to help). She also kept turning the oven off all day while the brisket cooked.

And another odd, yet slightly embarrassing fact is burping. Cathy was never the kind of Mom who would burp in public. But for the past 6 months or more she burps anywhere. At restaurants (many times at Stones Throw I have looked around the room hoping no one heard her) and at home. She would be SO embarrassed if she knew now what she was doing. I remember her on many occasions scolding Brad for burping at the table after a meal. I also remember him saying it was a compliment once. But unfortunately, I think people are more understanding when men burp loudly in public. Why is that??

I called Toby today so Cathy could talk to him. She has been carrying a sticky note around with Toby's new baby's info (She became a Grandma again last Saturday for the 8th time!). Even though she can't express it like she used too, just seeing her carry that small piece of paper shows me how much she cares. She didn't say alot when she talked to Toby but she was listening. It kinda reminds of when someone is in a Coma, they say you should still talk to them like they are right there listening. I think Cathy is the same way. She can't express her thoughts & feelings but she hears everything you are saying.

Cathy's friend Rhonda picked her up today at noon. She is taking her to Wisconsin for the weekend. Brad & I are heading up on Sunday after church. I hope their trip goes well... she is going to call us when they get there.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Change = Confusion

Today is not going very well... I think changing her surroundings the past few days might be the cause of it. She spent the last 2 days with Ryan & his family while I worked. They said she didn't sleep very well and was up quite a bit. She also was very restless. They did a great job taking care of her but I think movig her around makes things so much worse. Even going back and forth from here to Wisconsin now worries me a bit. And we have to go up for her follow up appt. Monday with the Specialist.

She woke up this morning with the glassy eyed look she gets sometimes. No affect and no laughing today. Brad got home around 5 this morning and when he woke up at noon she was falling asleep in the recliner. This is a first. We have been talking about how she is not sleeping well at night and doesn't nap at all during the day... discussing maybe getting a sleeping pill to help her. (Her Dr. had mentioned at some point she might need one.) Today is the first time I have seen her nap. It was making us both very nervous... she almost seemed drugged, very very lethargic. (I kept watching her breathing and it was regular.) After Brad talked to her about being tired she layed down in her room for about a half hour. (This is also a first) I checked on her and she was laying down under the covers with her jacket on. Once she got up she seemed much better. She was still not laughing but she was at least not as lethargic and her eyes seemed better... she seemed to be here with us more, not out there somewhere.

But then she went outside... I thought she was checking on Rudy (our outside dog) or walking down to the lightpost and back (like she has been doing). Brad couldn't find her outside and then we realized she had gone next door. She told Brad she was, "Looking for Gayle", she had tried getting into their old house... Brad and I just looked at each other and sighed... I quess I need to go outside with her from now on. I tried to talk to her a bit about things being confusing and how that is so difficult, we talked about how they don't live next door anymore and she just looked down at the floor and shook her head. She just said yep, confusing.

Hopefully the rest of the day goes ok... Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Thanks to Ryan & Gretchen for helping out, they did a good job taking care of her. Change is just to much for her right now. It has been a hard few days for all of us.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Coloring

Gayle was down for the weekend again. When he left Sunday with Misty Cathy seemed confused for a hour or so. Within 10 minutes after he left she found the dog bowl we were using to feed Misty, it is ours, but I think she thought he forgot it here. Here is what happened next: I heard the front door open & looked out the window. She walked out into the middle of our driveway and looked towards the road. She just stood there looking back & forth while holding the dish in one hand and gesturing her other hand... it seemed to be saying: What do I do, how do I get this bowl to Gayle? Which way did he go? Then she started walking towards their old house again next door, I called to Brad because I thought she might be going up there. But she stopped about halfway and looked down at the rocks in the driveway. She then walked back to our garage and got a screwdriver, carried the bowl & the screwdriver back to that spot in the driveway, used the screwdriver to pick the rock out, & then stood there looking at it. Looked around a little bit more and came back to the garage and put the screwdriver away. Brad went out to talk to her and tried to take the bowl. She took it back and set it on the bench outside our front door. It is still sitting on the bench tonight... possibly waiting for Gayle?? I am not exactly sure what she was thinking/feeling? And the rock has me confused? But after that she seemed to fall back into her routine again.

Today & tomorrow I am working... I asked Ryan if they could come down here and sit with her. He came down this morning and picked her up. We decided since I am working 2 days she would spend the night down there. Brad & I talked to them both today and she seems restless there. Gretchen said she kept going outside and she was worried she might walk away. I thought maybe she was looking for Ryan or Gayle? I told her about what Aunt Charlene had said. She had told me that Cathy's Grandma (Charlene's Mom) liked to color with the kids, so I thought maybe they could try that. Gretchen called back later and said it was working! She was sitting still and seemed calm while she colored with Laney. Coloring... Sigh.... relief.

Tonight we are missing her... feeling guilty... Brad was making spaghetti & I walked over and said, "I miss her, I am worried about her, I feel guilty that we are moving her around and confusing her..." He said, "I know, me too." It was like our child was spending the night at a friends house... I hope her night is going well.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Thank Goodness for Family!

It is amazing how she can remember things in the past. Tonight Cathy, Lisa, Silissa, & I were sitting around the dining room table. Cathy was eating a pizza I had just made for her and we were just enjoying her company. We told a few stories about when the boys were little & then I told a story Brad had once told me... I can't say the whole story on here... but let me just say it involves bunkbeds next to his parents room & a knocking sound on the wall... Cathy spit her pizza & pop across the table (almost a whole piece of pizza) & burst out laughing! She laughed so hard with a huge smile on her face... we were all laughing hysterically!!

I had volunteered to work today... Ryan & Gretchen had planned on watching Cathy but Ryan couldn't due to his job. So luckily Aunt Lisa & Silissa were up here and they spent the day with Cathy & Mia. I don't know who was harder to watch... Cathy or Mia! Lisa said Mia talked non stop the entire day! Thanks Aunt Lisa & Silissa for giving up your "baby" time to help us out!! Thank Goodness for Family!

I don't think I will be volunteering to help out at work for now... I wish I could because they are SO short staffed... but it is hard for me to juggle kids, work, & Cathy when Brad is out of town. I need a routine for us all & working throws it off... I forget things... real important things...

So... I am going to start working on a routine or daily schedule. This could be interesting...

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Dog Tracks, Apples, & "On Fire"

The bags are packed & down by the doorway again. It's raining & our floors are covered in dog tracks... Misty dug a whole to China around the drainpipe in our backyard and then Cathy let her in the patio door and she tracked all over the house... It doesn't do any good to ask her to remember to wipe their feet. Yesterday after I talked to her about it for the 10th time she finally laid the towel down in front of the door, so they could walk across it... UFFDA! I can't get mad at the dogs & I can't get mad at her so I just have to clean it up... Argh! (Thanks Kelly for listening to me vent & for the good advice!)

Brad also noticed today how she is feeding the dogs their apple snack. For the past few years Cathy has sliced apples in the evening for treats. Misty loves them & the kids love them too. This summer she started feeding Misty an apple every time she barked at her... one day she went through a whole bag of apples!! So I thought I would be smart & hide them in a cooler in our bedroom (in Wisconsin). She went to the fridge & said, "We are out of apples." And Mia said, "No we're not Grandma, they are in the cooler in our closet!" Oops... And last month Rhonda noticed that instead of peeling it she just threw the whole apple on the floor! THUNK! Brad noticed it yesterday... I had forgotten to tell him about it. He said Lizzie (our dog) just looked at Misty eating the whole apple & it was almost like she was thinking, "how am I supposed to eat that?"

Brad's Aunt Lisa & cousin Silissa came up from Missouri late last night to see their new grandson/nephew who was born yesterday in Des Moines. Cathy was in bed last night when they came, so this morning I told her they were downstairs sleeping. She must have went downstairs to check on them after that because.... Silissa told us she was woken up by the door opening & Cathy saying, "House on Fire". (On fire is one of the words she repeats) What a way to wake up!

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

carrots


Imagine my surprise... I walked into our laundry room tonight & glanced over & jumped! My first thought was, "What in the??" Then I realized the sink was full of carrots! Carrots from our garden... that I had long since given up on. (I am not the green thumb in our family)

Cathy must have heard Brad telling Chase yesterday that we should go pick the rest of the carrots... because she picked them. She hasn't had any interest in the garden all summer (& now it's fall). And it is not like her to completely uproot what seemed like 100 carrots & bring them inside without taking the tops (the word for the top of a carrot has slipped my mind... leaves...stems...) off first.

Just as I processed this she walked in behind me. I said, "Cathy, are those carrots?" And she just burst out laughing! She pointed at the sink & covered her mouth laughing. So there we were... laughing in the laundry room... quite silly... but very funny! (Maybe you just had to be there?)

We went shopping today for my niece's Birthday present. Now if you know Cathy... you know she does not Love shopping. She was always in & out of the store. When Tracy & I shop we take our time... it is like tasting fine wine... you have to enjoy the full experience! (When Cathy used to shop with us she was usually sitting at the front of the store waiting for us!) But today she was pretty good. I let her push the cart & I lead her through the store. I get nervous taking her shopping because this summer we had quite a few experiences shopping. One time she took off with the kids in Wal-Mart & Aunt Charlene and I couldn't find them... she is FAST! We finally found her sitting on a bench at the front door with the kids & her bags... she had checked out & they had miraculously stayed with her!! Today we did fairly well... no strange purchases... she has been throwing anything & everything in the cart the past few months, I learned this the hard way after spending over $100 a few times with her at Wal-Mart. (Gayle warned me about it... we got up to the check out & it was like having a kid with you... she had put lots of strange items in the cart) Today we got a few presents for the Grandchildren & she actually seemed to enjoy shopping.

The good news is shopping kept her away from the TV for a few hours & when we got back she threw the frisbee for Misty outside for a while. (This must also be when she picked the carrots... while I was putting things away.)

Monday, October 15, 2007

Laughing



It's been a few days since I posted... we had a busy weekend. Chase started selling popcorn for Cub Scouts (I know every parent 'Loves' selling things with their kids... but it is important to Scouts & Chase is really enjoying cub scouts). We had Chase's 7th Birthday party with some friends on Saturday. And his friend Nic's party was on Sunday. (Plus planning for the Sunday School lesson Saturday night... last minute... while trying to watch SNL.) And the Packers won again!!

Rhonda came over Saturday & stayed with Cath while we went to the Bowling alley for Chase's party. She had a good day Saturday! Rhonda said they walked over to the house next door (which is where Cathy & Gayle lived when they were here in Iowa... 4 years ago), Cathy noticed some changes in it. She also started a few conversations... which is unlike her now. She didn't seem to be 'chanting' her words & repeating them over & over either.

Cath has been going to bed around 7:30 every night. It is good for her to have this routine. The last few times she has stayed here it has ranged from 5:30 - 1:00 am. Plus this gives me time to get the kids to bed & have some time for myself.

She has been drinking almost a gallon of milk every day! I think it is from her craving for Cocoa Krispies!! She has been eating Oatmeal for the past year or more every morning... she must be getting tired of that routine... because we have gone through a whole box of the kids cereal now! Although when Gayle came tonight I mentioned it to him... & a few minutes later we heard the microwave door. I walked over & noticed she had put a bowl of Oatmeal inside again (with milk already added... we have tried to tell her this is not a good idea for a year now). It was only 6 pm & breakfast isn't for another 12 hours!!

Gayle came this evening with Misty (their chocolate lab). He is traveling for work a few days so Misty is staying with us. When Gayle came I was picking Chase up at school. Brad called & said that she got so excited... she started running towards the front door and said, "Gayle!" When I asked Gayle about it tonight he said he didn't even think she noticed he was here. I told him about what she had done. I am not sure if she was excited to see him or if she was just happy he finally made it... she knew all day he was coming. I had also noticed that she didn't have any interaction with him... but laughing when he talked to her, but that is her main form of communication with us all now. I am so Thankful that she is laughing. She could be angry... so many people with alzheimers are angry... I know that this isn't alzhemiers, but it is similar in so many ways.

Tonight at bedtime (the 3rd time I went into the kids room telling them to be quiet & go to sleep) Chase told me he was scared... here is our conversation:
Me: What are you scared of?
Chase: The Dark, it is hard to sleep in the Dark because I can't see.
Me: But Chase being dark helps us sleep... we wouldn't be able to sleep well when the Sun is up would we?
Chase: But it is scary?
Me: Remember our prayers... God is still with you in the dark.
Chase: But Mom he doesn't protect everyone.
Me: What do you mean?
Chase: Grandma is sick.
Me: (???What in the world do I say????) Sometimes people get sick, but God is with us to help us through it, to be our strength.
Chase: Can we pray about Grandma to make her better?
Me: (I didn't expect that... what is the right thing to say?? I don't exactly remember what was said in our prayer, but we held hands & prayed together, & I tried to say something to comfort him.)
Chase: He smiled at the end of our prayer & went to sleep soon after.

We cooked up some of her favorites for supper. Venison Butterfly Steaks, Fried Potatoes, & Pistachio Salad. Grandpa brought Chase a huge pumpkin from Ole's Garden. Ole is a good friend up in Wisconsin whose land is near the Handly's. We can trail ride on 4-wheelers or the gator and go visit his huge garden, the kids Love to see Ole. I am attaching a picture of Chase on the pumpkin... notice Cathy standing in the window. She often looks out at us when we are outside. We get her out with us but she always seems to slip back inside quickly. She used to spend so much of her days outdoors, but not anymore.

I also got a wee bit nervous today. We were sitting at the dining room table & Cath said, "Everafter, On Fire, Shit, Come Alive" My head quickly turned & looked at her... did I hear "Shit?!?!" Oh no!! What if she starts saying Shit now too. This would definately not be a good word... It would maked going out in public even more interesting & I can hear the kids giggling now. So far that is the only time I have heard it. Let's keep our fingers crossed...

Movies the past few days: Eragon, The Holiday, & Grumpy Old Men

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Another Day

Today went fairly well... although I am afraid to say that because just when you let your guard down something happens. Cathy rode along to pick the kids up at Pre-School & at the elementary school. With a little convincing she came with us to Chase's soccer game tonight. Afterwards we stopped by Rhonda & Larry's house for a few minutes. We heard the outside door open & at first thought one of the kids went outside... but it was Cathy, she had went out and was sitting in our van. She was ready to go. (An example of how she has lost most of her social skills.) On the way home we were listening to 96.1, a christian music channel, one of my favorite songs came on... "Untitled Hymn" by Chris Rice - the chorus is "Come to Jesus"... She started singing along with the chorus each time it came on the radio.

I did call the clinic today & got some medical advice... For those of you non medical people - you may not want to read this part - She has Urinary frequency, but says she is not having any pain. (she has had this problem for a few years I think.) I didn't notice any blood or foul odor, I also checked her temperature and it was 97.7, so I am not worried about a UTI, but I will keep an eye on it. Dr. Erickson thought we should try the medication again she used this past spring to see if it would help again. Gayle had tried using it a few weeks ago with no luck, but she said to give it a little bit more time. The reason we stopped having her take it is because she was not taking her medication correctly. We were worried she would overdose or not get the full effect of the medication because she was taking them randomly, too much, not enough, or not at all. So I will supervise the medication & see how it goes. She does have a weekly pill dispenser, but she doesn't usually know what day of the week it is so it does not help.

Today she lost her patience with Mia a few times again. But Mia is 4... & Cathy raised 3 boys... the emotional "you hurt my feelings" probably didn't come up as much as it does with a girl. So I layed Mia down for a nap... which didn't go so well, but at least she & Grandma had a break from each other.

She also packed her things up & put them by the door this afternoon. She is ready to go home, but not acting upset or worried about it. Tonight she went to bed without a word about it. Her things are still in the entry. As always she gave us hugs & kisses at bedtime. (Brad did point out to her that her nightgown was backwards, although... I have to admit I have even does that once or twice)

She enjoys feeding Rudy (We are Survivor Fans), our outside dog, she visits him a few times a day. He also enjoys her company. Although I have to watch just how much she feeds him. She has always been an animal lover!

Movies today: Eragon, The Holiday

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Restless

I have been waiting until Cathy is in bed to write in my journal. I don't want her to walk past and see that I am writing about her. She always glances at what you are doing. The last thing I want to do is hurt her or upset her. She has been in & out of her bedroom at least 10 times since she went to bed tonight. Everytime she peaks out and looks at me, smiles, sometimes laughs, heads to the bathroom, and then heads straight to the bedroom again. I asked her if she is okay. I asked her if she hurts anywhere. And she says ok, fine, & smiles. But I think we will call the clinic tomorrow, just to make sure nothing is wrong.

I left her home alone for a few hours tonight. I must admit... I could have talked her into going with me... but I knew it would be easier to go alone. So I took the easy way out & let her stay here. The whole time I was gone I worried. By the time I was heading home I was almost sick to my stomach. Mad at myself for going & leaving her alone. The "What if's" were driving me crazy. I truly feel she is okay alone for an hour. But I am nervous about her eating when we are gone... choking hazard. I am nervous about her getting into trouble... like a toddler would if you left them home alone.

I also started our pellet burner today (it is in the low 50's here in Iowa)... she hasn't had any interest in it all day. But, "what if?" Last winter she burned her hand on the fireplace door. She called and told me about it a day later. I told her how to take care of it over the phone & then called and told Gayle about it. He was out of town for work & had a friend take a look at it. Cathy grew up around fires, campfires, & fireplaces... it isn't normal for her to not be careful. But she just grabbed something hot without thinking. She does that in the kitchen now also. She will touch the side of the pan, reach into the oven without a hotpad, or lift the kettle lid without a hot pad... Luckily, at this point, she doesn't seem to attempt to cook if you are not home. Tonight she tried to make a pizza while my Dad & the kids were here. She had the timer set correct, but she had our toaster oven set on broil. (Thanks for helping tonight Dad!)

Note to self: I will not leave her alone that long again, especially after dark!

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Charmin

Does anyone know if Charmin's Stock is worth investing in??

Just today Cathy went through over an entire roll of toilet paper! She is in & out of the bathroom every half hour. Just like she lets the dogs in & out every half hour. Sometimes she just opens the door to look outside... which in turn lets tons of flies in the house. UFFDA!

Yes... we are talking about a visit to the Dr. to discuss this.

On a good note. Brad took his Mom for lunch today. He was working outside on his brother's car & noticed she was sitting in the passenger seat of his truck. He asked her what she was doing & she said, "food". So they went to town & got lunch together. And then went & bought more toilet paper! :) He also said everytime she would come outside to check on him today that she brought him out a Pepsi. He would put them back in the fridge when he came inside, & later she would bring him another. She was taking care of him... I am glad he has this memory today.

She also sat at the table with us for supper tonight. She ate in 1/4th the time we did & was back in front of her movie. But, she was with us for a bit. That was nice.

Gayle said when he got home with Misty she ran over to Cathy's door... waiting for her to get out. Sigh. I am glad he has Misty to keep him company at home, it is going to be tough for him not having Cathy at home.

Movies for the day: SecondHand Lions, The Holiday, amd Beauty & the Beast (christmas version)

Monday, October 8, 2007

Photos

I was looking through old photos today for Chase. He is Star of the Week in school this week. And I came across these. Cathy kept walking past me as I shuffled through pictures. She would look at them and laugh. I would talk about what we were doing & she would smile. It was a nice trip down memory lane.



Cathy at Chase's 1st Birthday Party in '01

Sunday, October 7, 2007

The Move

Well... Cathy & Gayle are down this weekend. We had a Birthday party with family tonight for Chase's 7th Birthday! Grandma Nelson & I made homemade Chicken and Noodles (with a little help from Mia). Uncle Marty surprised Chase & came for his party all the way from Phoenix!! It was a nice evening. Cathy did pretty well having everyone around, she knew everyone here, and she wasn't too restless. However she kept eyeing up Chase's cake. On a few occasions I had to stop her from cutting it. I don't know if it was her sweet tooth talking or if it is just the fact that she is always in a hurry to get things done.

Gayle plans on heading back up to Wisconsin in a day or two & leaving Cathy with us. In a round about way we have all told her she is staying. She is fine staying her to "visit" while Gayle works. She doesn't like being home alone anymore. But I am not sure how well she will take it permanently. The big question is: Do we tell her or not? Will she understand? Can she comprehend it all? Will it upset her? What would happen if she says no? She doesn't really have any other options.... Uffda! I am leaving that one up to Brad & Gayle.

Friday, October 5, 2007

Nina


Cathy's sister Nina visited for a few weeks in September. She had planned on staying with her to help take care of her... but due to personal reasons she has decided to head back home to Georgia. Nina just recently retired from the Army & is starting her civilian life again. She said they had a nice visit & it was hard to leave her sister and go home.

They talk frequently on the phone. Although Cathy does not answer her Cell phone much anymore. She does however randomly call people. It is always a nice surprise to get a call from her... even though it is hard to have a conversation with her. She usually repeats what you say. When she leaves a message on my voicemail it is usually, "have a nice day". Which is what I say at the end of my message.

The picture above was taken during Deer Season 2005. The Family tradition... along with many other families in Wisconsin is to spend the week of Thanksgiving Deer Hunting. Actually, most of us ladies spend it bargain hunting! :)

Dish Soap

Dawn dish soap strikes again!
Rhonda & Larry just spent a week in Wisconsin spending time with Cathy, helping Gayle with Deer Stands, & just hanging out with friends. (Oh yes, & shopping at Cranberry Fest!) I talked to Rhonda while they were on their way home today. She has been a good friend to Cathy & I know it is hard for her to watch her decline. She said that Cathy's sleep schedule is changing again. One night Larry saw her outside at 2:30 in the morning. She also got up one morning around 4:30 and started breakfast. Gayle also told me about the "funny" tasting bacon. He said she was up early making him breakfast... which she still tries every morning. (Even when she is at our house she gets up & makes Gayle bacon & eggs.) He said the bacon tasted funny, he only ate 1/2 of it & then snuck it into the trash... as to not hurt her feelings. He then warned Rhonda & Larry about it. It was then that they realized why it tasted so funny. You see Cathy was wiping out the pan with a papertowel covered in Dawn dish soap... but then not washing it out. So the dish soap was just sitting on the pan & then she was cooking in it. Hmmm.... I ate alot of Bacon over the summer up there. This is a good reminder why I need to watch her closer.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Medical Forms

Today I stopped into the Medical Clinic in town. I needed to change our health insurance information. (Since I am only prn at work now) We are switching to Brad's... it is has pretty good coverage, but not as good as mine did. So I dropped off my insurance card & the receptionist asked me how Cathy was doing. (It's a small town we live in and Cathy used to live here.) She then mentioned I should take some release forms with me to get signed. If she was to get sick here in town I wouldn't be able to discuss her care with the Doctor without her authorization. It would also be able a good idea to get her records copied and sent here for continuity of care. And then she mentioned it would be a good idea to have a copy of her Power of Attorney for medical decisions and her Living Will. UFFDA! I should have thought of this sooner... I am a nurse. But when it comes to your own life you are not focused on the paperwork.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Talking

What's amazing to me is that Cathy can hear everything you say... when you are not talking to her. There has been many times that we were talking in one room and she has answered or commented on what we are talking about. But when you are talking directly too her she either repeats what you say or says one of her "words".

How is it that she can do that?? For example. This past weekend in Wisconsin Rhonda & I were talking in the dining room about something (I can't remember exactly what... if you know me, you know I remember how something makes me "feel" and not exactly what was said... not always a good trait) & Cathy was in her bedroom. All of the sudden she walked into the living room and said something related to what we were talking about. Amazing!

The downfall to this is that if we are trying to discuss her illness we have to be careful what we say. And even if we think we are being careful... sometimes she hears us. I feel bad for all the times that she has overheard us. We try to be careful. But I didn't realize how sharp her ears were until this summer. UFFDA! (Norwegian "naughty" word)