On Saturday Rhonda watched the kids for a while so I could go over alone to visit... it is nice to get to spend time alone with her... she does so much better. Jean came at the same time with some new clothes for her... and I brought a few of her old clothes/jacket from home. We got there at lunch time so Jean headed out & let me stay to help feed her. It was the first time I had fed her an entire meal... I had helped with snacks & watched her eat... but not stayed. She can still feed herself but is messy, too fast, & gets too much on her spoon. The kitchen gives her a baby spoon (so less is on it & that helps... but she can still pile it on!), she also gets pureed & thickened foods. She let me feed her about 90% of her meal... but grabbed the spoon a few times when I was too slow or she wanted more sweet stuff and less veggie! (I don't blame her... pureed green stuff didn't look too hot... apple stuff looked & smelled much better!) It was also nice to sit with the staff as they helped the others eat. It is such a strange feeling knowing that they know her much better than I do now... I am Thankful for them... yet sad that I am out of touch with her day to day life. They know what she likes & how she likes it. They can tell me how she has been doing, what her new habits are, how she is changing.
After eating we went back to her room & I put in a DVD of old cartoons... she sat with me for a bit. I gave her a couple photos Toby & Tracy had sent to her. She seemed excited to get them but just quickly touched them and put them aside. I picked them back up a few times & tried to point out who all her grandkids were (Toby has 4 kiddos now!) But she seemed to only focus on Toby, Tracy, & their oldest daughter who is 8... and then she would look away. I am not sure if it is too much info at once or if she just doesn't have that connection with the youngest 3 because of her illness?
The kids & I stopped on Sunday together on our way out of town... Mia had gotten her a Green Bay packers shirt for her build a bear (dog) that we had given her. She smiled & laughed when we got there... but shortly after she lost interest in us & went to the main TV room... sat down & started laughing at cartoons on TV. I was sad for them... yet they seem to be getting used to it.
This week we are babysitting Ryan's lil man... he is 18 months old... they took his big sister to Disney World (poor Brad, I have been begging him to go and now he has to listen to me beg some more... but I know as long as Mom is still with us, all Brad's trips will be to her, & that is ok) so we are staying home this weekend. I am not sure I am up to traveling with 3 kids to Grandpa's house. The kids & I are heading to Iowa on Wednesday for a long weekend (no school Thurs/Fri here)... so we plan on stopping through & spending one night at Grandpa's house. Brad & I have been feeding our nephew gerber snacks & wondered... hmmmm... I wonder if Mom could snack on any of these??? They seem to dissolve well?? So I might sneak a few in with me for her Wednesday night/Thursday morning while we are there. I know she misses her snacks! But we have to be VERY careful about it.
Rhonda & Jean both wrote notes about the Doctor appointment they took Cathy to last Friday. I will attach them below. I think Cathy really enjoyed spending some time with her friends... I am glad she had that moment of happiness. Girl Time. However... after the appointment all of our hearts sank a bit. The doctor said she is in her Final Stages... but it could go on like this for a year... no way of knowing. I worry about Gayle the most... going everyday... exhausting... emotionally & physically. He was able to go out to Colorado a few weeks ago (we doggy babysat for Misty that week!) and visit with Aunt Charlene. I am glad Aunt Charlene was able to get him out there, she is someone he can talk to, someone who knows & loves Cathy, and someone who understands loss & grief - Uncle Bill died a few years ago, and had a long struggle with his heart. Gayle truly enjoyed his much needed vacation... and you could tell when he came to pick up Misty that he was somewhat rejuvenated... he was laughing & teasing again!!! It was great to hear that. But... the stress of it all has weighed him down again. I am sure he would not want to hear me saying that, he is tough & strong and does not want any of us to worry... but no one is superman.
Ok... it is late & I am rambling... so here are a few pics from the past few weeks. The Beautiful Lady by the popcorn machine is Shelly (the activities lady at the NH who keeps Cathy smiling & wife of John, family friend since he was a lil man!), the kids say she makes the best popcorn ever!!! Cathy tried to sneak some... but we got her jello & pudding instead.
Brad helping his Mom eat her snack - pudding & thickened chocolate milk (I know she would wish for coffee & cookies)
Walking on the trail behind the NH... she always has to stop & get doggy bags... even though we have no dog with us most of the time! :) I think I have a ton of them in my car!!
Above - going down the long hall for snacktime Below - Mia trying to comb Grandma's hair & Chase showing her the new
Packers shirt for her Build a Bear (dog)
Here are a the notes from Jean & Rhonda~
Friday 10/24 from Jean:
Hi Beth and family
just an update on my last few visits
with cathy, things are changing
quite rapidly... She doesn't seem
to care whether I'm there or not...
walks out of the room more often
than usual... Maybe it's because
I have tried going to see her every
other day instead of everyday,
I'm trying to get her used to the
fact that I will be gone from Dec.
20th until early March???? The
nurses say she knows I will come
as often as I can, so its' not a big
deal for her???? I brought her new pajamas with Gayle's money. also I had several new
pairs of lounging suits I gave her,
she no longer likes to struggle
with trying to zip and button her
jeans,,,Also tennis shoes are too
hard for her to put on, I ordered
her a pair of clogs or slippers
from lands end, I think if they fit,
she will do fine with them, It's
been harder for me to take her
down to the dining room also,
she's getting so vocal, and I don't
understand why the other residents get annoyed at that???? I will spend more time
back in her unit on a more private one on one.. The staff
are just wonderful with Cathy,
what would we do without them??? I see Barb S. quite often
when I'm there,,,,Cathy has some
good friends and family,,,,I'll be
going with Gayle and Cathy to her next Doctors Oct. 30th in
LaCrosse,,,, Will keep you posted on that visit when time
comes..........Love Jean
__________________________
Here is a note from Rhonda to add to Jean's note below:
Beth,
Jean and I had a good time taking Cathy to the doctor in Lacrosse on Friday. It was like a girls out morning.
I told Cathy that if she liked to go shopping we could go shopping and then she could have us paged from customer service. Cathy hated to go shopping with Barb Hoyer and I. She would get what she wanted, pay for it and then have us paged to let us know that she was ready to go. Cathy laughed so hard when I said that to her.
Cathy had lots of smiles on the way, once in awhile she would throw in a frown. I’m not sure if that was disapproval of something we were talking about or what. When we reached the clinic she knew the way. We had to stop her from going all the way into the doctor’s office. We had to tell her that she had to wait her turn. She would smile and then waited. I was amazed that she led the way in and then out of the clinic. There is more than what we think going on in her head. She is amazing. Three weeks ago I was sure that she didn’t even remember me. Friday was a totally different story. It made me feel much better that she seemed happy and that she was having a good time with Jean and I.
Have a good day,
Rhonda
________________________
Note from Jean about 10/17 appt.:
Hi Beth and Brad:
Just a little note on Cathys Dr.
appt. last Friday Oct.17th.........
Gayle ended up getting a bad cold.
so Rhonda and I took her & she was not a problem at all, she
showed Rhonda and I the way
back to her doctors office... she
did everything she was suppose
to do for the nurse and doctor,,,
They drew a picture of a box and
then another box inside of that one, Cathy was suppose to draw
the same, first of all she couldn't
hold the pen right at all, so they put
the pen in her hand and she studied it for a second and instead
of drawing the box she wrote box
several times inside the box that
they drew... Then she was asked
to sign her name, after several
tries, she did write her full name.
She couldn't write anyone else's
name this time.... The Doctor said
she probably understands more
than what we think.in other words
be a little careful what and who we
talk about, she remembers for a
very short time, sort of like when
us ladies talk to our husbands!!!!
They don't listen..... Her weight
has stabilized some what... Until
she can't swallow the thickened
food she now is on, she won't
be a candidate for Hospice,, after
the Dr. explained that hospice is
there more for the swallowing and
eating habits, not to care for pers
onnal care... I do understand, but
we just wanted what was best for
Cathy... The doctor said Cathy is
entering final stages of picks, but
could go on for another year????
I feel so for the family,especially
Gayle having to watch her like
this. Also it was mentioned that
Cathy will be easier to handle as
she gets weaker, I didn't quite
understand that.. I think he was
talking about the staff at the NH.
So long for now JEAN...
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